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My husband is autistic - help

married to someone with autism.

Hi everyone. I realised my husband is autistic over two years ago. We have been married for 8 years and having finally realised what is wrong it makes the whole situation worse. I now see the autism in practically everything he says and does. The strange gait, different accents, catastrophising, negativity and the constant fear of doing wrong is some of the hundreds of things he lives with every day and as a result I do too. I struggle every day living with him, and many many things depress me but could any one shed any light on the following:

Why doesn't keep in contact with his son, brother and family or friends? He will speak to them if they contact him, but he will never ring them himself. His parents died years ago as well as his younger brother who was also autistic, and he never ever mentions them - no childhood memories, nothing. I was at the funeral after his father died and he showed no emotion at all. it's like when someone isn't present in front of him, they don't exist any more. I really find  it hard to cope with as I am completely family orientated! TIA

Parents

  • There are good things to ,honest ,would never cheat, ,don't just look at the negative ,all of the things you say about him are the same as me,i felt nothing at my parents funeral ,neither did my brother , did you really want him sobbing all day in a right mess . Marriage is about helping and understanding each other. 

  • in reply to mael

    Exactly.      My dad died years ago and my mum gave up afterwards - so when she died of a heart failure, I wasn't at all upset - more relived that her suffering had ended.      My brother and sister didn't get that.

  • in reply to Plastic

    The NTs all say - be positive, right? chuckle.... 

    It was the same for me in many ways. Both parents now gone. Both at home nursed by myself and siblings. We did have hospital at home for the final hours though. They are the only ones with pure clinical grade heroine. lol My mum didnt have any diamorph though, or any other pain killer other than CBD! So she was fully with us when she she took her last out breath. My dad was fully spaced out on diamorph so hed already gone. 

  • in reply to Plastic

    i always imagined lying down on a  hillside next to a clear mountain stream ,with a few rocks poking up between the bright green grass and just closing my eyes. I suppose a bit selfish really .

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