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Private or State school?

NAS71739

Hello, I'm very new to this forum and just wonder if anyone has any advice.

My son is 8 and in Year 3. He has no diagnosis as yet (very long delay at CAMHS) but is suspected to have high functioning autism. He is bright and generally copes well in his one form entry state school. His main issues concern regulation of emotions and some sensory issues- he gets frustrated easily and struggles to understand how to maintain friendships.

My question is regarding his schooling going forward. I work in a private boys prep school and would get a significant discount if I were to put him in this school. He would be in a smaller, all boys class and get more teacher attention and more of a chance to express his indivduality but I'm not sure if the disruption would be worth it? Does anyone have any experience or advice? I am anxious to  make the right decision and not sure what is going to be for the best.

thanks in advance!

  • I'd say take a good look around in your local area and see what's available. If there is nothing suitable then get together with a small group dedicated to changing that scenario for the local good. This may lead to bigger group of likewise, intentioned well-meaning citizens capable of change and getting things done for the good of everyone, not just those who can afford it.

  • in reply to Peter

    I don't think 8 year-olds are emotionally mature enough to make those decisions - but what we did was take our daughter around each of the schools to see how she 'felt' about the environment.   Some are obviously more nurturing, some are pot-boilers, some are Stepford generators.

  • Have you considered asking him about it? I think you’d find it useful. The questions he will ask about the school he might transfer into might be quite informative as to his needs. I don’t wish to be rude but I expect he’s probably only person who has a really good handle on what his emotional needs are right now, and he probably finds it quite hard to express it. Also he’s less likely to be resistant to the transfer if he’s been consulted.

  • does depend on the schools ,but if you work there you will know if something is going wrong and be in a position to help ,i have found state schools don't notice until to late . 

    I have never had a problem with a private school but have been treated terribly by state schools ,that is me and my children 

  • Agree 100% private is best with high functioning autism It will enable strengths to be cultivated to a good level and not get lost in the mass of big classes

  • 100%, if you can afford it go for it. Do bear in mind how ASD friendly the school may be though. I'd also look to getting him diagnosed privately before making the switch so you're armed with the full facts. If you wait for the NHS he could be at secondary school & a school refuser, or worse still before getting diagnosed. Even then you'll have to fight for support. State schools prefer kids to hit rock bottom before they do anything unless you fight hard. 

  • i would say yes, it is worth an initial upset. Go for it Slight smile

  • My daughter came home 'shell-shocked' on day one of reception - we went private the next day - small classes, 'better' children (the rough element were filtered out by the cost - sorry if that sounds snobby), motivated teachers and well equipped classrooms.

    She went private all the way through and graduated university last year with a 1st Hons.

    Worth Every Penny.

  • Hi my son is 18 and we chose to send him to a Private school from year 7 onwards - mainly because of the smaller class size and that he could have more 1-to-1 for his learning disabilities. He did very we'll academically there and did not have friends to leave behind from Primary school. He did get bullied. And he did have trouble making friends. But though it had huge financial implications, I think it probably was the best option for him. 

    Best wishes for your decision. And for you, your son and your family.