Hey-ho everyone! 
My name is Ryan and I am currently twenty four years old, going on twenty five in April of this year. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at the age of six and life has been nothing short of a struggle for me ever since. Me and my beloved parents have never stopped trying to address my countless issues and even to this day we are trying to resolve issues the best we can.
Over the last five years of early adulthood, life has been extremely difficult and frustrating - not only from my perspective but anyone close to me. I cannot help but feeling I was left extremely underprepared for adult life, a sentiment I know is shared by autistic individuals and neurotypicals alike. COVID-19 has been a massive disruption to many people’s lives and I feel for anyone who has had to go through these past twelve months without the necessary social support and guidance we all truly deserve.
`Dealing with a myriad of different issues - ranging from chronic anxiety, sever and crippling depression and horrendous bouts of insomnia moving and progressing in life has been nye impossible for me. During COVID I made it my mission to start again fresh and try to get to grips with my condition and look for help and support that might help me achieve this goal. I dropped out of university, I moved back home with my parents and from there I stared into a meaningless void with a true yearning and ambition to fill it was something.
I engaged with Suffolk well-being and was assigned a well-being mentor. I also enrolled on a two month programme of intensive CBT to try and build some coping strategies and gain valuable insights about myself. At the start these sessions were nothing but miserable for me, but I turned up anyways. I felt I was lost and no one could help me, I was in the true depths of despair but something made me turn up to every phone-call and every zoom/teams meeting. I had a hope that I could fix things, even if the hope was but a flicker that often went out as soon as my conversations with these individuals came to and end.
My mentor was absolutely fantastic and honestly I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him and his work. He was twice my age and his life could not of been more different to mine however we shared one massive thing in common - we both were autistic, we both had Asperger’s. He helped me through my darkest days, promising me that there was a spot for me in this world just it might take some time and energy to find it. We worked together for over 12 months and the time with him changed my mindset massively.
The CBT offered much less to me, though I cannot say I didn’t learn anything from it. It’s approach was very neurotypical in nature and therefore I found myself having to translate much of what was said into my own language. It often took for granted that my relationship with the world and assumed my view of things were relatively neurotypical when in fact they weren’t. He would often encourage me to go out with friends or walk to the shop. These tasks were very counter-productive and did not have the desired affect as they were not needs I wanted filled. As an Aspie I enjoy quiet spaces and if I must interact with others it must be in a safe and familiar environment.
Around halfway through we decided to take a different approach as all the previous advice had not had the desired affect. We formed a good bond and we would translate things for each other, with him presenting the ideas in neurotypical form then we’d adjust it to fit me better.
A year on and nothing truly groundbreaking has happened. I am still jobless, still living at home with my parents, still friendless and still finding myself struggling with everyday parts of life. What has changed is my mindset and outlook on life. I am now no longer suicidal, my depression comes and goes but does not linger as much as it once did, I am engaging with tons of difference services and people to try and secure some appropriate employment and though my anxiety and insomnia are very much the same I find myself dealing with them easier. Pushing through things even when I haven’t slept in days and even when my anxiety makes me vomit profusely. I am still ticking by but I want more than to just tick by.
Now we are all caught up we come to the reason I am here. I want to thrive and not just survive. I want to live and not just see days tick by one hour at a time with nothing happening. I want to have secure employment, I want to cultivate some spectacular and mutually beneficial relationships with people, I want to feel that despite my issues, of which there are many, I am still living life to the best of my ability.
I hope that you can relate or at least engage with my story. I hope to use this platform to cultivate new friendships and show compassion and validation to all who feel they need it. Where I can give reassurance I wish to do so. Most importantly I want to feel like I belong here and that the amazing people of this community also belong.
I look forward to speaking with many of you and I hope you won’t be shy and make contact with me in whatever way best suits you, if you wish to do so of course. I hope this message is finding everyone alive and well.
Kind Regards,
Ryan Jamie Glen Curry
