Hi,
My name is Mike, I am a self diagnosed Asperger's sufferer. After a lot of research I came to the conclusion around 4 years ago that I suffer with Asperger's Syndrome. I used much of the content here, the help and advice that I read on the forum and by using other resources on the internet. I have always felt different to everybody else, in fact I've always KNOWN I am different if that makes any sense? I have had lots of relationship issues, I struggle in social situations, am awful at meeting new people because I really have no idea how to interact with them. I have been married for 13 years to a wonderful psychiatric nurse who I have known for the best part of 30 years. In fact we have been together for 25 years in total, though we had a break of 6 years somewhere in the middle due to a recurring issue - my lack of affection and associated lack of any intimacy.
Anyway, so as not to go on too much, the reason I'm not good with affection and intimacy is because I sensory issues which have always been a burden throughout my life. General touching makes me feel uncomfortable a lot of the time. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time. I have children and when they hug me I am grateful when they stop. Not because I don't love them, but because the serious discomfort and agitation I feel when being touched. I have issues with showering. The way the water touches me and feels on my skin makes me feel extremely agitated and sometimes I feel aggressive, though not violent, just highly anxious and at times I want to scream. I am a postman and have issues working in the rain for similar reasons, so I wrap up in a particular way to protect myself from the rain and I generally manage to get through the day without a hitch.
About 5 months ago it was apparent that my eyes were failing and I had to go and sit through an eye test which was extremely uncomfortable and eventually it was advised that I need glasses. No surprise, as stated I am a postman and it was getting harder to see the addresses clearly. I spent a lot of money on my glasses and found an extremely lightweight set with plastic lenses for the very reason that I needed a pair that sat on my face in such a way that I either couldn't feel them or they didn't agitate me.
So this is a little background just to demonstrate how my condition manifests itself as it seems we are all very different.
In November Royal Mail made it mandatory to wear face masks inside the depot that we work in unless we had an exemption. I related to my line manager that I was an Asperger's sufferer with severe sensory issues and that wearing a mask would cause serious discomfort, agitation and anxiety and they said that providing I wore a badge stating I was exempt that was ok. A couple of weeks later I was asked again about my condition and I explained some more. I also pointed out that I was feeling anxious because I had to confess to all and sundry that I was autistic and being different within the workplace was causing me some internal issues. They didn't seem interested but nodded and went away. Then a few weeks ago they asked me again about my condition and asked me to wear a lanyard, so I did as they asked and I even display my 'I am Autistic' card in that lanyard so that everybody can see my issue. I'm not trying to hide anything.
Yesterday I was called to a meeting with my manager and it was stated that unless I wear a mask for the full 3 hours in the depot in the morning I would be suspended and sent home without pay. I again explained my problem, I asked them to escalate the matter with the depot manager and I sent them a very long e-mail detailing the problems in my life, my self diagnosis and how now having understood what my problems are I am managing for the first time in 47 years, to live a relatively normal life. It was then stated that if I were to produce a doctor's certificate proving that I suffer with Asperger's they may be able to mark me as exempt.
The problem is, I've never been diagnosed by the doctor, in fact I've never even spoken to a GP about this. When I originally diagnosed my issue, I had lots of conversations with my wife on the subject and we decided that it wasn't something we needed to do. Our life was improving dramatically (thank you to the author of 'An Asperger's Marriage' this has helped us more than we can say!) and we felt that going through the process of getting a NHS diagnosis wasn't what we needed in our lives at this point.
I have no idea where to go now. I have referred them to the government website which states I shouldn't need to prove or even display something that says I'm exempt, but I have been happy to wear the badge and lanyard if it meant that I could just get on with things at work, but they are not interested. I fear I will soon be suspended without pay and am at my wits end.
If nothing else I'm hoping just a little bit of outside support will help me to cope with everything I am going through right now. Thanks for listening, I'm sorry for droning on.
Mike
