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A work problem I'm struggling with

GuitarMike

Hi, 

My name is Mike, I am a self diagnosed Asperger's sufferer.  After a lot of research I came to the conclusion around 4 years ago that I suffer with Asperger's Syndrome.  I used much of the content here, the help and advice that I read on the forum and by using other resources on the internet.  I have always felt different to everybody else, in fact I've always KNOWN I am different if that makes any sense?  I have had lots of relationship issues, I struggle in social situations, am awful at meeting new people because I really have no idea how to interact with them.  I have been married for 13 years to a wonderful psychiatric nurse who I have known for the best part of 30 years.  In fact we have been together for 25 years in total, though we had a break of 6 years somewhere in the middle due to a recurring issue - my lack of affection and associated lack of any intimacy.

Anyway, so as not to go on too much, the reason I'm not good with affection and intimacy is because I sensory issues which have always been a burden throughout my life.  General touching makes me feel uncomfortable a lot of the time. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time.  I have children and when they hug me I am grateful when they stop. Not because I don't love them, but because the serious discomfort and agitation I feel when being touched.  I have issues with showering. The way the water touches me and feels on my skin makes me feel extremely agitated and sometimes I feel aggressive, though not violent, just highly anxious and at times I want to scream.  I am a postman and have issues working in the rain for similar reasons, so I wrap up in a particular way to protect myself from the rain and I generally manage to get through the day without a hitch.

About 5 months ago it was apparent that my eyes were failing and I had to go and sit through an eye test which was extremely uncomfortable and eventually it was advised that I need glasses. No surprise, as stated I am a postman and it was getting harder to see the addresses clearly.  I spent a lot of money on my glasses and found an extremely lightweight set with plastic lenses for the very reason that I needed a pair that sat on my face in such a way that I either couldn't feel them or they didn't agitate me.

So this is a little background just to demonstrate how my condition manifests itself as it seems we are all very different.

In November Royal Mail made it mandatory to wear face masks inside the depot that we work in unless we had an exemption.  I related to my line manager that I was an Asperger's sufferer with severe sensory issues and that wearing a mask would cause serious discomfort, agitation and anxiety and they said that providing I wore a badge stating I was exempt that was ok.  A couple of weeks later I was asked again about my condition and I explained some more. I also pointed out that I was feeling anxious because I had to confess to all and sundry that I was autistic and being different within the workplace was causing me some internal issues.  They didn't seem interested but nodded and went away.  Then a few weeks ago they asked me again about my condition and asked me to wear a lanyard, so I did as they asked and I even display my 'I am Autistic' card in that lanyard so that everybody can see my issue.  I'm not trying to hide anything.

Yesterday I was called to a meeting with my manager and it was stated that unless I wear a mask for the full 3 hours in the depot in the morning I would be suspended and sent home without pay.  I again explained my problem, I asked them to escalate the matter with the depot manager and I sent them a very long e-mail detailing the problems in my life, my self diagnosis and how now having understood what my problems are I am managing for the first time in 47 years, to live a relatively normal life.  It was then stated that if I were to produce a doctor's certificate proving that I suffer with Asperger's they may be able to mark me as exempt. 

The problem is, I've never been diagnosed by the doctor, in fact I've never even spoken to a GP about this.  When I originally diagnosed my issue, I had lots of conversations with my wife on the subject and we decided that it wasn't something we needed to do.  Our life was improving dramatically (thank you to the author of 'An Asperger's Marriage' this has helped us more than we can say!) and we felt that going through the process of getting a NHS diagnosis wasn't what we needed in our lives at this point.

I have no idea where to go now.  I have referred them to the government website which states I shouldn't need to prove or even display something that says I'm exempt, but I have been happy to wear the badge and lanyard if it meant that I could just get on with things at work, but they are not interested. I fear I will soon be suspended without pay and am at my wits end.

If nothing else I'm hoping just a little bit of outside support will help me to cope with everything I am going through right now.  Thanks for listening, I'm sorry for droning on.

Mike

Parents

  • I am surprised in these circumstances that your employer has not referred you to their occupational health providers.

    Remember it is not your disability that gives you any rights, it is the way it affects you.  So in theory at least a diagnosis is not necessary.  If your employer gets stroppy and takes some sort of disciplinary action, you would be wise putting in a grievance and suggesting you are referred to occupational health.  Although they cannot diagnose you, they ought to be aware of autism and if you can convince them it substantially affects your everyday life they may recommend that you are regarded as exempt from mask wearing as a reasonable adjustment, together with other adjustments they may consider you are entitled to.  So do your homework, think of ways in which you are affected and the mask is detrimental to you.  And remember that the visor type face covering is a lot less uncomfortable than a mask and is acceptable as a covering, I find I can wear one with 'spectacle type' fixing round my ears and nose whereas a mask makes me hyperventilate and panic.

    Occ Health will be a lot quicker than an NHS diagnosis should they take the view you are probably autistic, and at no cost to you is a lot cheaper than going private.  Just ensure you inform them at the time your appointment is made that you would like to see someone with knowledge of autism and the ways it affects people.  And be clear in your mind your reasons for thinking you are autistic ( take extensive notes in with you so you don't forget anything!  ).

    The attitude of your union rep is bad, I would suggest you escalate it to the regional rep saying you feel your disability concern is not being considered properly by your rep.  And speak to the Equality Rep rather than your general workplace rep as Equality reps are trained in the issues disability brings, you should be able to find their name from your rep or the internet if relations are strained with your rep.

Reply

  • I am surprised in these circumstances that your employer has not referred you to their occupational health providers.

    Remember it is not your disability that gives you any rights, it is the way it affects you.  So in theory at least a diagnosis is not necessary.  If your employer gets stroppy and takes some sort of disciplinary action, you would be wise putting in a grievance and suggesting you are referred to occupational health.  Although they cannot diagnose you, they ought to be aware of autism and if you can convince them it substantially affects your everyday life they may recommend that you are regarded as exempt from mask wearing as a reasonable adjustment, together with other adjustments they may consider you are entitled to.  So do your homework, think of ways in which you are affected and the mask is detrimental to you.  And remember that the visor type face covering is a lot less uncomfortable than a mask and is acceptable as a covering, I find I can wear one with 'spectacle type' fixing round my ears and nose whereas a mask makes me hyperventilate and panic.

    Occ Health will be a lot quicker than an NHS diagnosis should they take the view you are probably autistic, and at no cost to you is a lot cheaper than going private.  Just ensure you inform them at the time your appointment is made that you would like to see someone with knowledge of autism and the ways it affects people.  And be clear in your mind your reasons for thinking you are autistic ( take extensive notes in with you so you don't forget anything!  ).

    The attitude of your union rep is bad, I would suggest you escalate it to the regional rep saying you feel your disability concern is not being considered properly by your rep.  And speak to the Equality Rep rather than your general workplace rep as Equality reps are trained in the issues disability brings, you should be able to find their name from your rep or the internet if relations are strained with your rep.

Children
  • in reply to Trainspotter

    Thanks for your detailed reply.  I actually asked the question with regards to Occupational Health today, it isn't something that they like to mention because it causes problems for them when OH make recommendations. They stated that I can be referred, I just need to put it in writing and ask for a referral and give reasons for my request. 

    I am seeing the doctor on Monday and am hoping to at least get a letter from him detailing that I am beginning the process of a full diagnosis and with any luck that will sort the problem out.  Once I have submitted this letter I am going to ask for a referral to OH anyway on the basis that the managers in my current location do not have the knowledge or understanding of the issues that Asperger's can cause within the workplace and to then come to some arrangements with OH with regards to reasonable adjustments.

    In terms of the spectacle type face shields, it's not possible for me because as I stated in my original message I wear very specific glasses which are exceptionally lightweight and a face shield is actually too heavy for the specs believe it or not.  A regular face shield causes me the same problems as a mask, it's the sensory problem that makes this entire situation unbearable.

    We don't have a local rep, we only have regional reps as nobody in our office wants the responsibility of being a union rep. 

    The very worst part about this entire issue is that I love my job. I have been there for 13 years and never had any problems because I come in, do my job well and due to the repetitive nature of it, it's more or less a perfect fit for me.  I have come to the conclusion that a NHS diagnosis must be the correct way forward as I have no confidence that issues which may arise in the future will be dealt with in a fair and caring manner by the company.