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Someone at work disclosed that I have a support worker

Cookiesmum1986

I don't know what it is with my work. 

I'm working with a support worker through access to work to try and make my working environment a bit more autism friendly. I've only told my manager about this directly and she's obviously told my supervisor as I need time to actually speak to said support worker. As I work in the nhs patient facing the whole process is done by phone. 

I was working on Saturday and my colleague asked how I was getting on with my support worker. I answered in a neutral sort of way because I wasn't expecting the question and I was in the middle of a work task. 

I don't know who would have told her, it's not like she could have worked it out by seeing him as he's never here. I take the calls in another area and it's not strange for me to take calls at work because I have hospital appointments and university stuff that happens by phone too. 

If my manager told her it would have been because she's assumed that I've already told her (she's the first person I disclosed my autism to without needing to), if my supervisor disclosed then I'm not sure what that would have been about. 

Now I'm worried that more people know about me than I am aware of and it's making me wonder who knows what and why people are talking about it. 

I can't ask my colleague who told her because she is off all week on annual leave. I don't think I could ask my supervisor because we have a terrible relationship, I don't work on the same site as my manager and I don't think this is a conversation for email or phone because people take my tone differently than I expect them to. 

So I'm not sure what to do. I obviously can't undo what's happened but I'd like to know the reasoning and I'm not sure how I'd find that out without making people turn on me. 

  • in reply to Cookiesmum1986

    I’m sorry to hear your having a hard time. I hope your situation improves.

  • in reply to Cookiesmum1986

    Your work environment sounds very familiar.  I used to work as a support worker with people who had multiple physical and mental disabilities.

    The centre manager was a battleaxe with muscles who I considered ideal to be running some kind of borstal.

    Then, the first time I worked on a Sunday, I saw a different perspective. The manager wasn't there.  Without her to crack the whip, the staff were lazy, complacent, with a laid back couldn't care less attitude.

    She was ideal for the position.

  • in reply to UsrUnknown

    I've got some ongoing issues with bullying, the supervisor has "pals" who she uses to intimidate people and one of them is a really vocal person who loves to criticise everyone and call them lazy and things when she's the one who sits about all day. I really want to make sure that this person in particular doesn't know as I think she'd use it to make others think I'm stupid and lazy when I know I'm good at my job but I'm maybe not great at socialising with everyone else outside of work.

  • I would discuss it with your support worker.  They should be in contact with your manager for other things, and would be in a position to explain why disclosure without your knowledge or consent is wrong.  Many people who are neurotypical seem to think that we are the ones who are always in the wrong with regards to how we interact with and treat people, but they then do things like this.  It never makes any sense to me either and it makes me deeply uncomfortable.

    I agree that this is not a conversation to have by email or phone.  Asking your co-worker how they found out may come across as accusatory, but it may also be worth the risk because it shows just how upset you are about private information being discussed.

    Given the nature of the information, it is worth asking whether they should have disclosed it, too.  I believe that they may have been in the wrong, legally speaking, but it would be worth taking advice on that.  That this happened in the context of an NHS workplace, where people are supposed to have an enhanced understanding of confidentiality and privacy anyway, is especially concerning, and so it should be raised urgently and with care.  However, i think it is worth waiting so that you can get your support worker involved.

    I would take detailed notes about the timeline and the events that have occurred that lead you to the conclusion that there has been unauthorised disclosure of your personal data, and share this with your support worker.  Make sure you also explain how it made you feel (eg violated), as this could be helpful to them when making your case.

  • in reply to Cookiesmum1986

    I completely understand your concern. It isn't nice believing that people are talking behind your back, sadly I have come to the conclusion that pretty much everybody does it :(

    The only thing I can suggest is maybe to monitor the situation; if nothing changes, then there are one of two ways to look at it - one, your overthinking things and no one is talking about you, or number two, they have been told about your autism but are just not bothered and see you as you. Either way, its a positive. Unfortunately, if you do begin to notice people being different around you, that's a different ball game and a lot harder to just "ignore" or "explain away". I really hope that it is the latter, you overthinking things. I do this alot, and even though I know that I am doing it, I continue to do so! 

    Good Luck, I hope it dies down and you are able to continue to work in a friendly enviroment that is right for you.

    x

  • Why are you bothered that people might know? You can’t change it and it’s who you are. No point in trying to hide it in my opinion. Also maybe some people can tell without you saying anything.

  • in reply to aidie

    I'm not sure how I feel if I'm honest. I don't mind that she knows because I'd have probably told her anyway. I'm more worried that my supervisor is telling people I'm autistic because I'm not "out" at work.

  • i would do nothing. U could complain, make a formal complaint  and sue for breach confidentiality/personal data blaa blaa blaaa   ..... dont  bother.

    I assume most people now know about me via word of mouth, friendships, informal meetings, emails/facebook/phone/management meetings whatever. 

    If u do take action no one will want to work with u at all, or reluctant to, they will be scared to in case u complain about them.

    Unless the organisation u r in, is into lock down of information,  and serious about it,  then information always moves.

    I know its not nice when someone surprises u,,, but dont be afraid to ask them how they know stuff about you but  in a nice way.

    Feel free to ignore me.