Does it get better?

it's good you're going to uni......... your parents i suppose do the best they can, but they just don't get it. maybe they'll never get it - give it time. but don't depend on it.

put your effort into school. they said they'll help you ---- that is what matters. when i went to uni, i thought i was like everyone else. i wasn't i've got a boatload of asd, and it's been super difficult. for me, at least. since your school knows about your asd, it should be a much better experience for you.

but don't put so much value in your parents' opinions. they need to go through their process, maybe, an you need to go through yours. those paths might not intersect, frankly. 

Ethan: thank you for sharing that. That really helps actually. I'm so sorry to hear about that. You're right. I think I'm just feeling too caught up im how they feel about everything. Thank you.

Bambi: thank you, I found I was doing much better at this since moving out the first time but I think as with everyone, taken a back step with a lot of things. Thank you for what you said. 

DaveAsperg: I am definitely going to try! Thank you very much for that. 

Life, for me, on the spectrum does get better. Only because I understand myself more, there's access to resources that I never had, there's greater legal protections, research has moved on and the internet has really opened things up in terms of connecting, information and getting advice (I am recently diagnosed mid-forties). My one relief through years of mental distress is that there's nothing I've experienced that hasn't been experienced by someone else. People, thankfully, are more willing to have those conversations now. 

Does the relationship with parents get better? Speaking from my own experience - when I was (mis)diagnosed with depression in my late teens nothing changed in terms of my relationship with my parents for the following thirty years. My father still failed to communicate with me or talk about anything - my guess he was on the spectrum and never diagnosed. My mother still behaved the same way she did pre depression-diagnosis. It was like we were talking past each other all the time and if I tried to be honest with them about my depression and what would support me it's almost like they would close down. They refused to have the discussion. Getting older, moving out, moving cities, getting a new job - nothing I did ever changed that relationship. For some families, it's like that. Parents still see their children through a certain set of eyes. Had they still been around when I was diagnosed as being on the spectrum.... I doubt if that would have changed anything.

Other families I imagine it would take time for parents to come to terms with what the diagnosis means for them to  grow with their children and understand who they are. Over time the dynamics of the relationship change and becomes deeper. That takes understanding and a commitment from them to be open and listen. Not everyone wants to do that, or they only want to do it on their own terms.

I'm sorry I haven't got any reassurance for you. All I can say is that the relationship with my parents was fractured and never really healed or grew. On one level it was completely functional, on another, it's like they had a "blind-spot". They were unwilling, or unable, to accept me - ironically when I needed them the most.

I can say to you, despite that I came through it. They've both passed now. I regret that my relationship with them wasn't healthier and more honest - but I tried. Despite that I've learned to live with it and accept that and build relationships with other people who are supportive and accept me for who I am. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is - the relationship with parents is unique, and some will never grow no matter how hard we want them to. I hope yours does improve, and your family begins to understand. If not - and this isn't easy - accept that the relationship will never be what you want it to be. If I could talk to my younger self now I think I'd be telling myself not to let their lack of understanding, or even that sense of a lack of approval and acceptance, be the prism through which I see myself and my future. 

unfortunately it is one of those things where you just have to accept yourself and ignore what others think or say x

If you can come to terms with yourself and build on your strengths. Focus on what you enjoy and do well and aim high