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Interventions

ASDish

Its been about 5months since diagnosis.

what ive found is like im regressing more now ihave a name to call my condition.

i dont seem to be able find any balance, everything is either too much or too little.


the only thing that doesnt ruin my day is absolutely nothing. a complete absence of activity.

This makes me feel very depressed.

most days i have 2-3 suicidal thoughts. 

Whereas ive observed some have veiwed diagonsis as a freedom i see only a prison

i cant escape.

i wish i could copy the positivity of some of you, but i just cant im tired of copying.

tired of struggling everyday.

Parents

  • Hello Peter

    Thank you for your post. I do not have autism myself but my 17 year-old daughter was diagnosed just before Christmas. I am relieved that she has this diagnosis as it makes sense of all the mental health problems that she has developed but of course they don't go away just because we now know that she is autistic, we just now know what directions to look in for the appropriate help. I do not see freedom for her, or me, but I do see knowledge as power. And I do not mean 'superpower'. Acting on the knowledge is another thing requiring energy, time and often money.

    My daughter has also regressed since her diagnosis. She needs time and support to accept and own her autism. It is hers.

    What I really wanted to say was that I am not a naturally positive person. I am not 'glass half empty', I don't even have a glass! I get fed up of continuously being presented with positive models for her. She is not Great Thunberg, and does not want to be. The fact that David Byrne has autism does not help her. She cannot relate to him.

    Being positive is exhausting and at times just a way for people to deny the difficulties they are facing. Your honesty is refreshing. I am glad that you can write it down. The things that i want to write are too unacceptable, even here, and I am seeking therapy myself to enable me to get them off my chest, move forward and then be able to support my daughter. When I go to bed at night I often hope that i do not wake up in the morning as I cannot face the challenges ahead and I am not the one with autism so how you and my daughter feel is something that I can't imagine.

    I hope that you can find a way to be you and feel less imprisoned. I send you strength and energy, not positivity, to find the support that you need to do this. KnotSoWild gives such a great response. I hope this is helpful too.

Reply

  • Hello Peter

    Thank you for your post. I do not have autism myself but my 17 year-old daughter was diagnosed just before Christmas. I am relieved that she has this diagnosis as it makes sense of all the mental health problems that she has developed but of course they don't go away just because we now know that she is autistic, we just now know what directions to look in for the appropriate help. I do not see freedom for her, or me, but I do see knowledge as power. And I do not mean 'superpower'. Acting on the knowledge is another thing requiring energy, time and often money.

    My daughter has also regressed since her diagnosis. She needs time and support to accept and own her autism. It is hers.

    What I really wanted to say was that I am not a naturally positive person. I am not 'glass half empty', I don't even have a glass! I get fed up of continuously being presented with positive models for her. She is not Great Thunberg, and does not want to be. The fact that David Byrne has autism does not help her. She cannot relate to him.

    Being positive is exhausting and at times just a way for people to deny the difficulties they are facing. Your honesty is refreshing. I am glad that you can write it down. The things that i want to write are too unacceptable, even here, and I am seeking therapy myself to enable me to get them off my chest, move forward and then be able to support my daughter. When I go to bed at night I often hope that i do not wake up in the morning as I cannot face the challenges ahead and I am not the one with autism so how you and my daughter feel is something that I can't imagine.

    I hope that you can find a way to be you and feel less imprisoned. I send you strength and energy, not positivity, to find the support that you need to do this. KnotSoWild gives such a great response. I hope this is helpful too.

Children