Recently diagnosed with autism

hi aidie - I don't mean to sound anti-NT -  it's just my personal observations of over half a century of direct measurement.   'Some of my best friends are NT' 

please dont listen to Anti-NT "advice" it is very destructive way of think about the people around you.

Definitely give youself time to think and don't put any pressure on yourself to do anything or move on too fast. 

I've also just been diagnosed at 40 years old. The main thing that I'm stuck on is how could I have been processing the world so differently to most other people all this time and never realised? How do neurotypical people think in social situations? How can anyone enjoy making small talk with a stranger?!?!?

When I talk to my friends and family about it they all agree that the autistic bits of me are some of the things that they love the most. e.g. the ability to cut through the bullshit in life and focus on what really matters, my honesty and reliability, when I hyper focus on something and learn so much in a short period of time, my absolute determination to complete everything I start to the best of my ability and not stopping until its "right". These kinds of traits make the world a better place and are things we should be proud of. 

I have had anxiety for my whole life. I remember vividly going to school for the first time and wishing so hard that I could go back to being 2 years old and stay there forever because at 5 years old the world was too complicated and worrying to deal with every day. I am only now learning to manage my anxiety by understand the roots of it in my ASD. In this sense your diagnosis is a great thing because it gives you a framework for building the coping strategies best suited to your needs.

I agree so much with Plastic. Whether you see your autstic traits as positive or negative is just a matter of perspective. If you can turn your special interests into a career then they are actually a huge asset. Some of the greatest scientists and entreprenures in history were/are very likely autistic. Personally the only thing I would change about my diagnosis is that I wish I'd had it 35 years earlier so that I could have saved myself so much time trying and failing to fit in and never understanding why. In the end you will find a few special people who understand and support you just the way you are and that is all you need. 

I hope it helps to get a little perspective from someone a bit further down the line. 

• I found that really amazing advice for myself. 

Thank you

Hi Alex

First thing you need to do is STOP - and get comfortable with the fact you're autistic - you're not disabled or broken, you're just different.   

Everyone around you is used to you being you - if you have any strange quirks or obsessions, they already know about it and accept it as part of you.

You will benefit from a period of self reflection - look at what you do and critically measure yourself with respect to your peer group - what do they do, what do you do.

Think about your interests - if you're into interesting things, they may form avenues for your success.    Look at your weaknesses and accept them - you can't 'change' them but you can learn to mask them if you have to or want to - but it's hard work - try to avoid it.

I SERIOUSLY doubt you are depressed.   I have found that our openness and comfort with talking about darker things gets us labelled as depressed - NTs hide anything negative in their life because they see it as a weakness - and doctors are terrified of people talking about hard reality - they think you must need medicating out of that!     

Anxiety is the killer - you really need to look at this - it's THE driving factor in your whole life.    We are wired slightly differently so our fight or flight mechanism seems to be in overdrive all the time .

NTs blunder through the world not noticing the details but we 'see' everything so you see risks and problems more vividly than NTs - you need to form comfort strategies and escape plans so you can interact with the world on your own terms - it can be anything like having numbers of cab companies on you at all times in case you get stuck somewhere or having a battery booster for a mobile phone - just little things that will get you to safety.

Like I said - your life is all about managing anxiety - and finding a lifestyle that suits you and finding a place where you 'fit'.

I've found ASD people are actually much more successful than people realise - if you go anywhere where you need a specialist or someone with strange skills or expert knowledge, you'll find us.     

What stuff are you into - what hobbies or skills do you have?

You actually have been given a great gift - the knowledge of knowing who you are!       Most people never figure it out - you now have the ability to take control of your destiny and drive your life in the way that suits you rather than flopping around with no direction.  

thats good, you're making progress dont listen to the negative thinkers they will only drag u down

Be kind to yourself. You haven't changed as a person, you're still the amazing individual you always was. Take your time to process it all, don't feel rushed. Just remember that a diagnosis doesn't define you, even if people you meet along your life journey think otherwise. Be true to yourself.

That's definitely how it's been feeling. For a while now!

Give yourself time and grace to adapt to this knowing. I am finding the processing comes in highs and lows. I am also finding looking back on my life and forgiving myself for the times I thought I was a problem that needed fixing. Cultivating understanding has been helpful too.

The only folk who can help you are autists like Plastic.... What he says is always bang on. His wise words are a ray of light in a misty broken ASD type theory of BS Mind.

On the GP thing - in my experience they will just invalidate you - put you in the loony category and pump you with Thier chemical poisons. GPs are mostly useless tossers who look down their noses like they some kind of superior being. They are a waste of space and should be axed. lol 

If you're anything like me - you can't move on easily. Not now ever. You took the red pill. Me too. I wish I hadnt and it was almost three years ago. Most will say the opposite - but look though their stuff - it tells a different story. You, as have I, given your self a label now and forever. That puts you and me into a sub group of minority beings. 

In regards to the depression and anxiety I've got a psychiatrist for that. I'm going to attempt to take social skill courses.

HI, Welcome to the forum

be nice to yourself for couple of months, its hard to take it but it actually helps u in the end.   

1. The anxiety and especially the depression need to be talked over with your GP 

2. Try and get some social skills training. If anyone offers this say yes likewise for CBT