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Did you think things had feelings?

Mark (NicheMarket)

As a child did you think 'things's had feelings?

Like toy cars, buildings, roads, plants, cups, etc?

I keep reading how child autists see people as inanimate objects. But I'm unsure if that's true. I was terrified/bewildered by new people, but also I felt objects were animate and had feelings. So in a room with people it seemed fair I gave attention to the ignored. It's also why I felt some days we had to go on a certain road, because it wasn't fair to ignore it, or maybe if we always used one road it won't be upsetting for it if we used a different road. When I stimmed, I had to finish my stim before answering someone because it wouldn't be fair on the parts I hadn't done, and it was too much to stim and answer.

I can still sometimes feel bad when I get rid of something, that it'll now it's unloved. Is that why some of us hoard?

Is this a being a kid thing? Or an autism thing? Or me? I feel it's not that I lacked empathy, it's that it extended to everything and so dividing my empathy up meant there wasn't much for humans.

Parents

  • idk... when i get angry at an object that isn't doing 'what i want' i might have a melt, and just smash it to bits, screaming obsenities at it, as though it was an animate object. and feel a grim but inane satisfaction that i've 'taught it a lesson it richly deserves.' so there.

    does that count? 

  • in reply to raspberrypie

    I think it's part of the same thing. I think NTs experience that, so maybe mine is just an exagerated NT thing, but prob most autism traits are exagerated NT things.

  • in reply to Mark (NicheMarket)

    my therapist, who specializes in asd, feels that melts are like migraines: your brain just gets hardwired hijacked. so - melts are really wired. whereas NT melts are.... nothing burgers, in comparison. so my beating up my gps or printer, i guess is a sort of melt. so -- it's pretty different from an NT. i guess yours is too, or even more so. i can't see an NT wanting to be nice to a road cause it has feelings.... i feel asd triggered furies are very different from an NT outburst. 

    i guess i rarely treat objects very nicely -- like i would an animal. i just scream and rant at things. i think mine are simply melts, although i do start just punishing whatever object it is, and have some sort of satisfaction from beating the living stuffing out of whatever object it is that has gotten me so angry.

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  • in reply to Mark (NicheMarket)

    my therapist, who specializes in asd, feels that melts are like migraines: your brain just gets hardwired hijacked. so - melts are really wired. whereas NT melts are.... nothing burgers, in comparison. so my beating up my gps or printer, i guess is a sort of melt. so -- it's pretty different from an NT. i guess yours is too, or even more so. i can't see an NT wanting to be nice to a road cause it has feelings.... i feel asd triggered furies are very different from an NT outburst. 

    i guess i rarely treat objects very nicely -- like i would an animal. i just scream and rant at things. i think mine are simply melts, although i do start just punishing whatever object it is, and have some sort of satisfaction from beating the living stuffing out of whatever object it is that has gotten me so angry.

Children