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Struggles with working within a care home

JK2019

Hi,

I would be interested to know some coping strategies/ have some emphathy from like minded people who understand

I was in a care work role but i have found that my black and white thinking has caused me to struggle. I think particularly i find the job hard to get my head around because in the training they set the expectation bar so high. Then in the work place it is nothing like it. In my experience i was very isolated and had people refusing to work with me because i kept on wanting to stop the institutionalised routine of bed turns and attend to a lady who needed a bed pan. I found it upsetting and confusing that we made the person wait when they needed to go then, to complete the bed turns. I also found the drinks round impossible because i wanted to ensure that the drinks were hot and individually made and did not want to just give everyone juice or warm tea because i wrestled with this not being person centred.

if the training had just been honest and said look, just do your best. Where possible try to attend to individual needs but in reality when there are staff shortages it is more important to get the turns done and fluids given so it is ok to compromise on value then i would find it much easier. 

I find it very difficult because i feel like i am not having integrity, being honest with myself if i do it like everyone else because i can see that it is not the best care. 

Has anyone else experienced this conflict. How did you deal with it?

  • The best way of coping with working in and understanding care homes is to accept that the term ' care home' is a misnomer.

  • in reply to JK2019

    Most of the time this worked, sometimes I'd have eyes rolled at me but it staved away the worst of it. 

    I noticed that the staff would have favourite patients and coddle them more than others so if I was with one of those patients it's was ok but the blind lady who was distressed at basically being dumped by her family was not a favourite so I'd get pressure to hurry up with her even though she had higher needs.

    One of the care assistants also took offence at a lady who visited her husband every day for most of the day (open visiting), the man was there to die so most people were nice and tried to arrange dinner and give her tea but this one care assistant made out the lady was only there to be fed and grudged her everything even though her husband was dying in front of our eyes. It was disgusting how she treated this lady in her husbands last days but no one said anything to her directly.

  • in reply to JK2019

    Yes this is definitely the case! I've had ongoing issues with my charge nurse and I'm basically told that I can complain but I should appreciate "that's just how she is" and "she's not going to change" but she's a disgusting person and I've told her that (mediation that went very wrong, senior charge nurse didn't appreciate just now honest autistic people can be). 

    I've had patients tell me that she's speaking to me in a disgusting/appalling manner, other staff members sort of draw her looks when she says certain things to me and like I said above everyone is like "yeah she's horrible but that's her personality".

  • in reply to JK2019

    In hindsight, it is the wrong kind of work for me.  And it was for most of the people there.

    My reasons for getting that job in the first place were many and complicated, I won't bore you with the details 

  • The other thing i have found out that again i cannot make sense of is in the NHS if you are treated unfairly then you are made aware of the protocol in place to make a complaint against a member of staff. But, if you do complain then you could loose your career because the word spreads around the NHS and you are unlikely to be hired again.

    Has anyone been in this situation? 

    I find it so hard to comprehend/ make sense of. Why make a rule and then have an unwritten and unspoken rule which harms people?

  • in reply to Cookiesmum1986

    Hi @Cookiesmum,

    Thank you for sharing,

    Did you face any similar pressures in your orthopaedic rehab ward or can you work more independently?

    were you always listened to when you said "Is that how you would want your mother to be treated?

  • in reply to Robert124

    Hi Robery,

    Thank you for sharing.

    How did this make you feel Robert? What conclusion did you come to?

    Have you ever looked back at health care or have you decided it is the wrong kind of work for you

  • Welcome to the real world.

    I once worked as a support worker in supported housing for adults with multiple physical and mental disabilities.

    I never got any training, it was just learn on the job by shadowing existing staff.

    Hot drinks were cooled by pouring in cold water and testing the temperature with your finger.  I may not be the most hygienic person, but I considered that disgusting.

    Toileting requests near the end of a shift were ignored, so the next shift would do the dirty work.

    In the end I was fired for being incompetent and totally unsuitable for this kind of work.

  • Not a care home but an orthopaedic rehab ward.

    You can only do your best. In the situation with the turns vs toilet, how urgent was the turn? I would have prioritised the toilet too unless I was about to turn someone who had pressure damage and poor skin integrity.

    If I was being put under pressure to do something that didn't feel right (like rushing someone through a meal) I'd ask whoever gave the orders "is that how you'd want your mother treated" and often that made the person back down.

    I didn't worry about roasting hot tea or ice cold drinks as hot tea in that unit was a liability, far too high a burns risk! Hot/warm was more than adequate.