Struggling with understanding own emotions.

Yeah, i think that's the biggest problem, i'm having emotions, but i don't even realise i'm having emotions. Like i always thought i was calm and didn't know what anxiety was, until i tealised i'm kinda anxious all the time, but over different things to NTs and i can't describe it or relate to how they describe it, but made me realise i have lots more emotion going on than i know.

They don't really care though. They aren't asking because they care, just to make conversation. Seems a bit pointless to me. Why ask a question if you don't want to know the answer?

sounds awesome

I think it's possible that autistic people have some emotions that neurotypical people don't usually get. That might explain why it's hard to talk about them. For example, I get an emotion where I'm sort of detached from reality and my mind is very blank and I don't know if minutes or hours have passed. Or, my favourite emotion is when I have a special project and I'm 100% focused on it, ultra-productive, ultra-creative and intensely happy. I can describe these emotions but it takes too many words.

Thank you. I started my assessment process in November 2020. I feel like my diagnosis is the first real answer and the one I have really needed. I felt myself relax somewhat when I got it so I know its having a very positive impact on me. I hope your diagnosis has helped you too.

Yeah, I find it hard to put names to my emotions unless they are obvious. It's a common autism thing. E.g For a while I always had a nasty feeling in my chest and was unable to concentrate at all but I didn't even know I was anxious until I had a huge panic attack. It's hard to deal with your emotions if you don't know what you're feeling so I want to get better at it. My counsellor at uni asked me to do a mood diary so I made a spreadsheet for it and if I don't know what an emotion is then I write down the stuff that I've been doing instead to help me work it out at another time. It's quite an interesting project.

Hello welcome to the forum i went private to got my autism diagnosis last October.

Hi, sorry I am only replying to you now. I did go private and I received my diagnosis only 3 weeks ago. I joined this forum 5 days ago. My sister is also autistic but other than her I do not know anybody else. I do not really have any friends so it is lovely to be talking to others who understand. 

are u new to this forum ? if yes welcome  ......   did u get an ASD diagnosis  ?   did u go orivate ?

are u doing this, working on your anxiety ?

Hiya, I struggle with understanding and explaining my emotions. I have suffered from severe anxiety for a long time and anxiety for as long as I can remember. At my ASD assessment I struggled trying to get everything across because of this, so much so that it was noted in my report that I struggle with explaining/ understanding my emotions. It has been recommended that I find and attend a psychologist who can help me work through them and help me learn how to understand them. 

Yeah, he always behaves like he's in love with me and has taken me to many places that are "his." I'm very much a word person, I need things to be made explicit to understand and operate. We speak different languages in this regard. But at least I've sussed the dynamic so hopefully that'll mean things will work eventually between us.

Thanks for the advice!

A piece of advice. Let him take you to a place he is comfortable in. Then see how he behaves, if he is lovng towards you then he may love you but not have the words to say it. Or he may be scared of the changes if you two were to get together. He may not be able to envision what it would be like in a relationship. 

Yeah I agree, if I really focus then I can feel this other emotions but they are so overwhelming. I think being driven is my best trait, this way I don't really have time for emotions, I'm too busy I don't have time to worry about it. 

I just copy what other people say when I ask them the question. You could say,

living the dream 

Another day in paradise

Brill thanks how are you

Not bad, this and this happened. 

Really good, I'm going to ...... tonight.

Remember it's not a trick question. Even if you aren't feeling something you can say you are just to keep the conversation going. 

Ah, that's interesting Rashford, I think that' might explains what's going on for a guy i like.

Yeah I agree I sort of get a lag when it's a difficult emotion to process. I only realised I loved somebody years later. She would say something to me and I'd be quiet for an hour and then I'd know how to respond. Probably something to do with all of the other stimuli where we were at the time. 

Yeah, i have this delayed reaction. Makes chamging things hopeless at times with people.

Yeah, my friends mistake my ability to think about something, or analyse it, for emotional articulateness. I did too. But I mostly have no idea what i feel about it.

Yes or things hit me weeks or months later when my brain has worked it all out and it's filtered through. But by then of course it's far too late to go back to the person and say 'when you said that to me in December, it really upset me.' Or whatever. Because they've moved on and forgotten about it long ago...