Got my assessment next week...why on earth am I doing this

.....I've deliberated for a number of years and finally, for various reasons,  took the decision to book it.

It's next week. I'm going through cycles of.....I definitely am autistic / I'm definitely not / I'm looking forward to the assessment / why on earth am I putting myself through this / it'll give me answers / who the hell do I think I am? / it'll help explain my life / I don't know which outcome is more scary/ I don't want a label, I want to cancel the assessment because of this.

The last one is really bothering me right now.  So I've got this far in life and haven't held myself back and I'm just worried if I get a label it'll give me an excuse not to do things where in the past, I've previously pushed myself. (Altho at a cost to my mental health).