Got my assessment next week...why on earth am I doing this

.....I've deliberated for a number of years and finally, for various reasons,  took the decision to book it.

It's next week. I'm going through cycles of.....I definitely am autistic / I'm definitely not / I'm looking forward to the assessment / why on earth am I putting myself through this / it'll give me answers / who the hell do I think I am? / it'll help explain my life / I don't know which outcome is more scary/ I don't want a label, I want to cancel the assessment because of this.

The last one is really bothering me right now.  So I've got this far in life and haven't held myself back and I'm just worried if I get a label it'll give me an excuse not to do things where in the past, I've previously pushed myself. (Altho at a cost to my mental health).

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  • I'm currently doing CBT which is really helping (I've been working on the "C" and am just getting up to the "B) I've dipped in and out of meditation over the years and even attended a Buddhist Temple retreat in Scotland (bliss!!) so I can relate to your mantras.

    I agree with all of your statements with tht exception of the first one as I don't know my "status" as yet. I think even if it comes back as a "no" i clearly have limitations within certain aspects of my life so those things might become clearer, even if it isn't autism. I think I get a report at the end so I'm sure, if a no, it will give details anyway.

    I don't know who I would tell if anyone. With regards to my partner, he's great, but I just wouldn't want it to be thrown back at me and used on me when we fall out! I said this to him and he came back with "as long as you don't play on it" Touche! I'm talking here as if I have got the diagnosis, but yes, it's speculation at the moment.