Got my assessment next week...why on earth am I doing this

.....I've deliberated for a number of years and finally, for various reasons, took the decision to book it.

It's next week. I'm going through cycles of.....I definitely am autistic / I'm definitely not / I'm looking forward to the assessment / why on earth am I putting myself through this / it'll give me answers / who the hell do I think I am? / it'll help explain my life / I don't know which outcome is more scary/ I don't want a label, I want to cancel the assessment because of this.

The last one is really bothering me right now. So I've got this far in life and haven't held myself back and I'm just worried if I get a label it'll give me an excuse not to do things where in the past, I've previously pushed myself. (Altho at a cost to my mental health).

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crystal_plant_pet_everything else but huamn _mom over 4 years ago

well, i'm also in this path, i've thought i was autistic before, but since a lot of things didn't apply to me as a female, i had shut this door, but now, researchinh thngs to help with my dslexia, i've encoutered so many validations, and i am faced with the decision to pursue a diagnosis, i don't care for a name, label, or people thinking it's a disability/disorder, it's jut the way my brain works, but stiil i am very stressed and scared for how people would react, i am having multiple meltdowns and shutdowns, i am afraid all my masking is bitting me in the butt for being so dependent on it, sometimes it can feel as i am an ipostor, and it sucks. But on thing I can say is, go through with it!! Even though I don't know you, I support you, don't feel afraid, it's more stressing not knowing what's 'wrong'
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Deleted User over 4 years ago in reply to crystal_plant_pet_everything else but huamn _mom

It sounds like you need support for things like your meltdowns so a diagnosis is a good idea
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Deleted User over 4 years ago in reply to crystal_plant_pet_everything else but huamn _mom

It sounds like you need support for things like your meltdowns so a diagnosis is a good idea
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crystal_plant_pet_everything else but huamn _mom over 4 years ago in reply to Deleted User

at least my partner is being reaaly helpful, i just feel anxious because I heard you need someone that was present in your childhood for the assesment but I not confortable to ask any of my relatives, they would probably think is fake, or that I'm looking for trouble or that it's a defect...
One of these days my granpa argued with me that I never was 'too sensitive' to fireworks, it must've been something I aquired, eventhough everyone knows I always cried and hid during New years, due to the sound/fog... So I'm not very confident.....If it wasn't for her I would just shut and hide all over again
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