Making Friends

Hi, I completely understand the whole fake friends, at my old secondary school from Y7-11 I was very weird, I’d get paint on my face on purpose, and twirl around our common room with a piece of string, although i had very few friends, in classes I felt well liked because of the attention I drew from my weirdness. I was alone, but surrounded by people who were interested in me, I can’t help but think of the Truman show. I was voted prom Queen, as well as being a council rep, i felt popular, but at the same time in a downward spiral state where I was alone at lunch through no fault of my own, and crying because of it. I was diagnosed with Asperger in Yr5/6 and was fortunate to be sent to a private school where my classes would be smaller, my parents hoped it would minimise bullying, ignoring someone and being isolated is still bullying even if there are no words. My school lacked a good SEND department though, and I never understood what a ‘meltdown’ was until right before I started writing, I had had them before and just felt like an emotional wreck and no one knew what to do. I have one great friend who is like me and so greatly understands, but I hope for a future where I can make friends who don’t know I’m autistic or at least like my best friend, has little knowledge of the world and enjoys my company for me, and less like some circus act to be gawker or admired, but everyone leaves once there is no show. Believe me you are not alone, we are all ships lost at sea, surrounded by planes in the sky, and unless we turn the lights on our ship on, us lost ships can never find each other. We will not crash against the rocks. I think I am better than the Titanic.

YANANIA

Hi, I completely understand the whole fake friends, at my old secondary school from Y7-11 I was very weird, I’d get paint on my face on purpose, and twirl around our common room with a piece of string, although i had very few friends, in classes I felt well liked because of the attention I drew from my weirdness. I was alone, but surrounded by people who were interested in me, I can’t help but think of the Truman show. I was voted prom Queen, as well as being a council rep, i felt popular, but at the same time in a downward spiral state where I was alone at lunch through no fault of my own, and crying because of it. I was diagnosed with Asperger in Yr5/6 and was fortunate to be sent to a private school where my classes would be smaller, my parents hoped it would minimise bullying, ignoring someone and being isolated is still bullying even if there are no words. My school lacked a good SEND department though, and I never understood what a ‘meltdown’ was until right before I started writing, I had had them before and just felt like an emotional wreck and no one knew what to do. I have one great friend who is like me and so greatly understands, but I hope for a future where I can make friends who don’t know I’m autistic or at least like my best friend, has little knowledge of the world and enjoys my company for me, and less like some circus act to be gawker or admired, but everyone leaves once there is no show. Believe me you are not alone, we are all ships lost at sea, surrounded by planes in the sky, and unless we turn the lights on our ship on, us lost ships can never find each other. We will not crash against the rocks. I think I am better than the Titanic.

YANANIA

welcome to the forum Yanania  so many new people here recently 

if you can add some details to your profile eg hobbies , favourite music, art, books, TV, films etc