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Family Difficulties

LucyLandRover

Hello,

I have quite a difficult situation at the moment. I do not have contact with my Parents due to being verbaly abused and other issues. My problem is my brother wants to meet up but last time he did this he brought presents from my Mother even though he knew full well I did not want any contact. I have asked him for two years now not to keep doing this but he ignores me.  He emailed me today to ask about bringing presents but I feel he will bring presents from my Mother again which I find distressing. What can I do?  

Parents

  • take the presents straight to the Salvation Army where someone will be only to happy to receive them. 

  • in reply to aidie

    Yeah, if you want to see your brother then it seems the easiest strategy is to take the gifts, stick them in a bag, and pass them on without looking at them.

    If you're worried there may be a note in there apologising, then ask a trusted person to open them, read any note, and only relay information if it's super important. I did this once and it worked for me.

    My mother is abusive, and always has been, and it's really difficult as siblings to manage it all. Often the easiest thing for one of us is to do what she wants in order to avoid the psychosis. You're brother's probably trying to manage it as best he can, even if it's not ideal.

    I hope you can enjoy time with your brother. The most important thing is to limit how your parents abuse impacts your relationship with your brother.

  • in reply to Mark (NicheMarket)

    yes i agree with NicheMarket. The presents are just material items dont let them damage your relationship with your brother, he is sorta in a difficult position. Make his life easy  and you will gain in the long run.

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