Question to other autistic women...can you relate ? Physical touch/Relationship

Hi! I’m a 40 year old autistic woman. I would have to say that my ability to tolerate touch varies depending on who is doing the touching and the context it is in. As for sexual touch, well that’s a whole other ball game.....

So, regarding touch in general. I hated being touched as a child. I remember my mother always getting annoyed that I didn’t want to be cuddled and on one occasion, forcing me to endure being held in a cuddle on her lap against my will. Eurgh it was awful! As an adult, I can tolerate touch and being cuddled by my children. Although oddly, only until they reach adulthood. My two youngest daughters (6 and 3) will often sit snuggled up to me in the sofa, and I’m fine with that (as long as they keep still!). Yet with my eldest daughter (22) I have to force myself to cuddle her even when she upset. Although she’s just as tactile defensive as I am, so my I normally end up hugging a crying statue ♀️I can tolerate very brief social hugs from friends or at social events, because I can usually anticipate it. I don’t like unexpected tactile behaviour, especially from people who I don’t know! Luckily most of my friends are Autistic so they don’t tend to be into being randomly tactile. 
Regarding sexual touch. I need to feel emotionally close to a guy for this to be ok. Also, as a woman, our monthly hormonal cycle can affect how we feel about sex and thus how willing we are to accept sexual touch. If I’m in a committed relationship and feel close to someone then I can enjoy sexual touch and it can even be quite sensual. With my estranged husband, for the last several years, I tolerated sex with him purely so that he would leave me alone to sleep for the rest of the night. I hated it though and would frequently be busy making shopping lists in my head by way of a diversion. 
As a woman, it’s really important to get to know someone first and to feel comfortable with that person before sexual touch even comes into the equation. There’s also no reason why things need to progress quickly once you do start touching a partner. IMO there’s nothing wrong with just sticking to kissing and cuddling until you feel comfortable with more and then you only need to progress at a rate that you feel comfortable with. It’s your body and it’s entirely up to you who you allow to touch it and in what way :-)
I imagine that it’s extremely rare for men, even autistic men to dislike sexual touch!!!

Hi! I’m a 40 year old autistic woman. I would have to say that my ability to tolerate touch varies depending on who is doing the touching and the context it is in. As for sexual touch, well that’s a whole other ball game.....

So, regarding touch in general. I hated being touched as a child. I remember my mother always getting annoyed that I didn’t want to be cuddled and on one occasion, forcing me to endure being held in a cuddle on her lap against my will. Eurgh it was awful! As an adult, I can tolerate touch and being cuddled by my children. Although oddly, only until they reach adulthood. My two youngest daughters (6 and 3) will often sit snuggled up to me in the sofa, and I’m fine with that (as long as they keep still!). Yet with my eldest daughter (22) I have to force myself to cuddle her even when she upset. Although she’s just as tactile defensive as I am, so my I normally end up hugging a crying statue ♀️I can tolerate very brief social hugs from friends or at social events, because I can usually anticipate it. I don’t like unexpected tactile behaviour, especially from people who I don’t know! Luckily most of my friends are Autistic so they don’t tend to be into being randomly tactile. 
Regarding sexual touch. I need to feel emotionally close to a guy for this to be ok. Also, as a woman, our monthly hormonal cycle can affect how we feel about sex and thus how willing we are to accept sexual touch. If I’m in a committed relationship and feel close to someone then I can enjoy sexual touch and it can even be quite sensual. With my estranged husband, for the last several years, I tolerated sex with him purely so that he would leave me alone to sleep for the rest of the night. I hated it though and would frequently be busy making shopping lists in my head by way of a diversion. 
As a woman, it’s really important to get to know someone first and to feel comfortable with that person before sexual touch even comes into the equation. There’s also no reason why things need to progress quickly once you do start touching a partner. IMO there’s nothing wrong with just sticking to kissing and cuddling until you feel comfortable with more and then you only need to progress at a rate that you feel comfortable with. It’s your body and it’s entirely up to you who you allow to touch it and in what way :-)
I imagine that it’s extremely rare for men, even autistic men to dislike sexual touch!!!