anyone else have problems not being able to stop staring at someone's physical features?

Uh-Huh! I have also been accused of staring. but that was 50 years ago, so i suppose I have learned to zone out  a bit. But its hard to completely shut off. (I suppose it might even be thought of as a form of stimming.)

It even happened on the day of diagnosis, in a rather embarassing way. I was in the reception area, and a receptionist comes over to communicate some small point to me. I'd seen her photo before and had sort of noticed a facial feature. Well, I must have stared just a little too long at that feature as she approached. But it went further than that. It was perhaps some form of mutual recognition that we were both in the company of another person on the spectrum. Both of us were visibly a bit put out by it. It was almost like a moment of both double-take and satori. It was even quite like the moment when a movie camera zooms in and out to indicate that some sort of significant connection has taken place; so almost like a visual flashback. Looking back on my past, it is blatantly obvious that i have frequently been in the company of other neurodiverse people, but this was perhaps the first time it had happened when i was already fully familiar with the concept of neurodiversity. And just a few minutes later, i met another; but was perhaps this time better equipped to handle the experience.

I have come to think of this experience as an ASDar moment.

how do you think this might be stimming? afaik, i don't stim, but i'm in the process of discovering various unknown aspects of me............. i think of stimming in the 'typical' ways, that i've heard about....

This is a subject that gets explored here quite often. And we invariably hear  from other posters that stimming takes numerous forms. I used to doubt that I stimmed; conveniently forgetting a whole load of nail biting and skin-picking. My realisation of that has at last helped me to start bringing those stims under a bit more control; but then you have to employ other (less destructive) ways to calm yourself down.

it is perhaps worth noting the comment of Symon (below) about staring at other parts of the body to achieve a calming effect, with less eye contact involved. But I suppose you would also have to be fairly careful with that; even if it was only facial features. (Perhaps their smile would be the least controversial ;-)

Definitions of stimming tend to mention this calming effect, at some point. But neurodiversity is ..... diverse. What you find personally relevant, is important.

This is a subject that gets explored here quite often. And we invariably hear  from other posters that stimming takes numerous forms. I used to doubt that I stimmed; conveniently forgetting a whole load of nail biting and skin-picking. My realisation of that has at last helped me to start bringing those stims under a bit more control; but then you have to employ other (less destructive) ways to calm yourself down.

it is perhaps worth noting the comment of Symon (below) about staring at other parts of the body to achieve a calming effect, with less eye contact involved. But I suppose you would also have to be fairly careful with that; even if it was only facial features. (Perhaps their smile would be the least controversial ;-)

Definitions of stimming tend to mention this calming effect, at some point. But neurodiversity is ..... diverse. What you find personally relevant, is important.