Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello! I am wishing to remain anonymous, but I am 19 years old and female (she/her pronouns) and since January 2020, I’ve been looking into the likelihood that I may have autism!
My younger half brother has already been diagnosed (he’s 10 next March), so I thought my mum would be super supportive, but she’s been the opposite. Because I’m not exactly the same as my brother, I apparently, according to her, don’t have autism. She doesn’t particularly know what traits I have as I’ve hardly mentioned anything to her since she’s so against me having it.
I got up the courage late October to actually call my doctors back home (I’m currently at University so living away from home) and got an appoint with a GP who referred me. The place where referrals normally go isn’t doing autism diagnosis’ anymore, nor referrals, so I got “referred” to somewhere else (basically got told to call this support team!). The autism support person for that centre is attempting to help me, but she’s missed two appointments with me and was late to the first one. No one knows (at this moment) where I’m meant to be getting referred to and it’s causing me so much more stress on top of everything with Uni and Covid.
I am getting support off Uni though, due to me showing clear traits and being referred (they even asked for evidence of the referral letter which I found weird). I’m just finding everything super difficult right now, especially with the change of living independently with my boyfriend and the fear of the unknown (there’s been a lot of tension in the household as someone was having psychotic episodes and as well, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve told them to keep the noise down late in the evening (around 11pm-2/3am) and they don’t listen!)
I was wondering if anyone had any advise because I’m really struggling with it and I don’t have a clue what else to do other than save up money and go private (which is my last resort since it’s a fortune and I have a car to run/food to buy etc). Sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes etc!
Hi,
There's a lot going on for you right now. Well done for reaching out. I've had to self diagnose whilst on the waiting list. I believe you can get a lanyard, although I haven't done myself (mostly because I barely leave the house).
I've just started listening to the audio book 'Autism in heels' by Jennifer Cook O'Toole. Interestingly one of the this she spoke about was being approached by a mother that seemed quite unhappy her daughter may be autistic, when she seems to perfectly accept her son is. She muses it may be because the diagnostics are based on how autistic males are.
I just found the below written by her ( article: Pink on the Spectrum)
"Not surprisingly, then, the constellation of behaviours, strengths, challenges, and tendencies that became the medical and public “profile of autism” (and Asperger’s) is distinctively, decidedly “male.” More boys are, logically, going to fit a profile that was created by observing and describing boys!"
I think contributes as to why more and more women are discovering they are on the spectrum.
Thanks for you comment!
I’ve had a lot to deal with recently and genuinely thought this was the best place to reach out!
I just didn’t want to go get a lanyard and get ridiculed for wearing it (which my mum definitely would if I was to wear it in front of her!), if I don’t have an official diagnosis yet. I may get one once I know a little more about what’s happening :))
I may look into giving the audio book a listen. Is it free or did you have to pay?
Thanks again
I got it from a credit as part of the Audible subscription. I didn't think I would make use of it but really have done. Have a look around and see if there is a free trial. If not and you don't want audible there are a lot of videos on YouTube around female autism.
Ooo nice! Thank you so much I‘ll look into things :))