Got my assessment report draft today

Reading through it was really nice but also a super sad. I have really dramatic mixed feelings about it. 

Like all my history was there, it was all put into words with correct terminology, it was all put in order so it wasn't all a jumbled mess like it is in my head. It was great! I felt very understood and it was an awesome experience over all. Everything makes sense and I don't feel like there was one comment out of place.   

But...  it also reads like a big list of everything thats wrong with me. Everything seems so... undesirable and shitty and theres just so muuuuuch trrraaauma. It sort of makes the thought of ever having a job that I can actually handle and thrive in or friend group or even a relationship etc just seem so unreachable and unachievable for me. Its kind of a huge downer as well as being happy that I have an answer now and an understanding finally to my identity.

I honestly keep in mind constantly to just be kind to myself. Negative thoughts use to swamp me and drag me down to the point of years of continuous episodes of major depression bordering psychosis. But I have since learned a lot of healthy coping mechanisms and have had them in practice for a good while now. And I like to think that I have gotten pretty good at it.

I am trying to focus on the positives and being kind to myself but I dunno.... this is some really complicated stuff because its very identity heavy, and thats something I have always alllways struggled with.  

How did you feel reading your assessment report? Did you struggle with mixed feelings that were polar opposite? How did you cope? Did it get better?