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NTs discussing autism

Cookiesmum1986

I'm studying nursing with the OU and we are doing a style of learning where you get a family case study and learn through exploring themes related to the family.

In my current case study there's a 14 year old "who has autism" and a 16 year old NT sister who takes him to appointments and stuff. 

We are supposed to be exploring the laws around child protection, the child's rights in terms of accessing healthcare with autism, there's a whole list of stuff.

Last night I was in a chat with just other students, no one from the uni and they were saying things like "oh the mum must be so stressed out, I'm stressed out with the kids I've got and there's nothing wrong with them", and "oh I feel sorry for the 16 year old growing up with a brother like that" and stuff like that.

They don't know I'm autistic and they didn't say anything outright offensive but it wasn't nice to be part of that chat when I was the kid sister with all the hospital appointments and the ASN (I have heart defects too, needed surgeries), I was participating in the group tutorial with adaptive technology, hearing support, the whole kit and caboodle really and they were being quite ableist.

I need to participate in these group chats for another 28 weeks or it's an automatic fail but I don't know if I can face it. 

Is this something I can talk to my tutor about or would that be a *** move?

  • Some people don't know better and that's the beauty of education.

    If one can be patient and understand that ignorance comes from not having been educated in the right way previously, then it's possible to help people to better understand the condition.

    If everything those people have currently heard or read about in the media suggest that autism is a 'problem' then maybe they can be forgiven for thinking it is the case.

    If you're confident you can educate them in a compassionate way (compassion towards their misunderstanding so far), then it could be worth asking the tutor if you could help to play a slightly educating role before the next session ? 

    I like NicheMarket's way of raising it.

  • Oh, that sucks. It must undermine your connection with them and general trust to be open. I've had that type of thing with autism, and a lot more with being gay (and read as straight so the homophobia starts flowing).

    I used to teach uni students and would have to cover topics that involved marginalised identities. I would remind them that "what we're talking about is not 'out there', but may be 'in here', in the room. We're not talking about others, we're potentially talking about us or some of us. We might all look average, but none of us are, we all have something unique about us that we probably hide. A lot of what we're talking about can be invisible so we shouldn't assume the issue isn't here in the room with us."

    I think you could talk to the group or your tutor about the specific incident without revealing your own autism, or talk about the group needing to be sensitive. Potentially you could keep it light with the group, like "Hey, I was just thinking after the last session that one of us could easily be autistic and we don't know, or have it in the family. And I guess lots of things during the course are gonna touch personal cords and we won't know like illnesses, diagnosis, identity stuff. So maybe we should just be aware stuff might be in the room and we won't know."

    Dunno, but feels something would be worth it to get through 28 weeks.

  • u must take part, thats for certain. Focus on your progress/learning. Dont mention your autism in any meetings yet because everyone may stop speaking / contacting u out of embarrassment.  If they are saying offensive things about autism children, let them, eventually they will be corrected hopefully by the tutor. At the end of the course mention in any feedback opportunties that other pupils were saying inappropiate things and should have been prevented fro doing so.  

    Turn up at all tutorials,  you represent all of us, so u must be there, but be better/more professional and get the qualification u need. Dont get hung up by comments, by "ignorant of autism" people, because they are learning as well. 

    Heart