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Thanks WhatsApp!

The Riddler

I have been in a WhatsApp group for a while now, but never really fitted in. No surprise there! Recently though I have noticed how often I get ignored. There have been a few occasions where meetings have been arranged and I have been unable to go. Usually because of anxiety, so I just make some poor excuses and say I can’t make it, but get absolutely nothing back. Then another guy says he can’t make and 30 seconds later everyone else is messaging saying “oh no, come on sort something out” etc etc.

A similar thing happened this week, so I decided to drop out of the group because I find it too stressful. However, I didn’t realise that WhatsApp messages everyone in the group to say “so and so has left the group”  Now I’m getting grief for leaving.

Struggling to know what to do.

  • in reply to Billy87

    I hate what's app groups (apart from with my husband and sons). 

    I don't mind what's app as a means of communication with individuals - I've always preferred texting to talking on the phone - but my word I really don't like what's app group chats - I was part of some at work but I've actually now left them.  I just don't understand what to say on group chats or what is expected and it makes me feel so very anxious every time a notification pops up about them. 

    Since I've left them I feel so much better - I understand it says that I've left to all the others in the group but I just don't care what they think - I think the majority of them think of me as a bit weird anyway.

  • Whats app is a huge trigger for me, I think it is for a lot of us. Whats app groups are a nightmare, all the social cues and knowing what to say and when to say it. 
    Staying away from whats app as much as possible for a while might be a good idea.

    I have to use it for certain things but try not to when I dont have to 

    Sorry to hear what you went through 

  • I have recently experienced the same thing in a gaming chat. I was always nice there with people, but no one seemed to care about it. Had to leave this ignorant place, but sometimes felt lonely without seeing plenty of messages in one place. Anyway, I don't have a lack of chatting now. My current work is related to selling different stuff,  and I chat with our clients through a business messaging platform almost all day. Can't say that it's the best type of chatting for me, but it helps me not to feel that lonely. Sometimes there are very nice clients with whom it's possible to have a nice conversastions.

  • in reply to aidie

    Yes I agree. I assume that aspies are more sensitive to this as well. Certainly I am. Luckily I’m a 1 pint wonder!

  • in reply to The Riddler

    alcohol is a depressive chemical  - it cause depression. It also attackes many organs of your body.

    i also decided twitter was not good for me so dont go near that either ...... facebook as well. WhatApp never used ( dont have a smartphone )

  • in reply to aidie

    I left the group, but wanted to do it anonymously, but then found out everyone gets an automatic notification!

    Why do you say stay away from drink? I started a thread on here before about alcohol and caffeine affects.

  • in reply to The Riddler

    leave and ask to be removed if u r autistic/have anxiety/depression I recommend  u stay away from drink completely. Dont go to something u dont enjoy.

    OR 

    consider it "Free Training" whereby u experiment with your social skills ( but dont drink ) . Make notes mentally on what worked didnt work

  • in reply to aidie

    Hi aidie, it was a group I was pulled into a few years ago because our kids went to nursery together. The Mums went out a few times and so one of the other Dads set up this group. I always felt I was invited by default rather than want. I have said on the forum before that I found the group difficult because it was all geared up to arrange nights out, revolving around drinking and curry, neither of which I particularly enjoy. Especially drinking culture.

  • ask to be removed so you're not contacted. Who added you in ask them to remove u. ( I have never used whatsapp )

    What was the group for eg autisitcs, people with ADHD ? 

  • Sounds like narcissism on their part.

    People can be their own worst enemy.