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Is it best to keep quiet

Bumblebee

 Whats the general view on telling people around you about ASD?

Does it tend to help or does it just add further complications?

There's some people I want to tell and others I feel I should but wouldn't know where to begin.

  • Thank you for all of the replies. I have only told a few people and have had a mixed response through some of the many reasons you have all put.

    I'm trying to work out if I would have been better saying something before I made it obvious there was an issue or if I'm jusg overthinking and speak too early and would have been better off keeping it to myself.

  • in reply to NAS62563
    NAS62563 said:
    I think it is better to not mention it unless you absolutely have to as most people will form an opinion based on what they think ASD is (which will usually be totally wrong)

    Yes - I think 'Rain Man' has killed the careers of many highly competent Aspies.   They suddenly see you as a grenade with the pin pulled out.    Too dangerous to have around or consider for promotion and needs to be 'managed out' as quickly as possible..

  • Overall, it has been a positive experience with less than a handful of people. And I more-or-less completely gave up bothering at around four handfuls.

    Looking at that on the bright side, it heavily confirms that I am socially unacceptable to perhaps the majority of people I have encountered in 6 decades. They didn't really want to know, when I myself didn't know what it was; and now I do know, most of them certainly don't want any further enlightenment. The whole time they have felt justified in continually passing judgement on my conduct, but they seem determined to stop me doing the same for myself. Small wonder really that I have come to firmly believe that our current system has absolutely no room at all for any real notion of 'democracy'. 

    All alone as usual! Oh well, I have a long history of dealing with it! ;-) Always look on the bright side of life!

  • I think it is better to not mention it unless you absolutely have to as most people will form an opinion based on what they think ASD is (which will usually be totally wrong)

    I think for work especially it is a hard one because it could explain your social difficulties to an understanding employer or it could backfire and give them a reason to get rid of you/stop you from getting a promotion

  • in reply to aidie

    I tend to be an open-book too often. However, I've learned to be more tactful.

  • mixed bag like above

    work : some people stopped speaking to me. I would say my promotion and managing other people career  pathways are over

    family : some accepted some didnt basically I think because I have the most qualifications in my family. Not the most pay !

     Notes : if the person you are tellng has experience of severe ( non-verbal /) autism I can understand their reaction eg "you dont look autistic "

    outcome : it is better now that i know the issue, the negatives from work and family I cant do anything about

    Yes as    says be very very careful. Release your diagnosis to only those who need to know and/or only those who can keep confidentiality 

  • It depends on a lot of things:

    My friends - it all made perfect sense to them.

    My family - total denial.

    At work - career suicide and an excuse to bully me some more.

    My only advice would to be very, very careful.

  • I tell people i am on the spectrum and about half of the time i get abuse about it with the typical "you don't look autistic", "your only saying that to get attention" OR " your just trying to get out of doing something" and at the age of 24 I now know to avoid these people and its a red flag for any situation i am in whether its the workplace, out in public or meeting a new doctor because these people are usually resentful and abusive. the other half of the time people try to understand and that all i can ask for.

    Honestly it depend on the person your telling. people may act bit different at first but honestly it can be a relief to accepted when the masking slips or you have a minor meltdown in front of them. still embarrassing when you have meltdown in front of them but them knowing why you having a meltdown can really takes the edge of trying to explain to them later on.

    In the workplace it can negative or a positive thing depending on employer and company. in most cases informing and disclosing your autism diagnosis (make sure human resources have a copy of autism diagnosis for your employee record) can mean reasonable adjustment that could mean you have fixed work hours, routine brakes spread throughout the day, quiet place for lunch and even headphones be accepted in the workplace.