connection is a tough thing in a way. one can speak with people but if they don't understand, it can sometimes feel a bit worse. it's a tricky one. in theory, yes. in practice, it's a touch more difficult. when you've spent years working on relationships, holding back enough not to alienate and push people away. then times like these happen and one becomes a mess every few days. i don't want to wear out the few that care the most about me. i hate that this all is happening. it could have been avoided. some of us are perfectly good at managing our risks and risks to others (re: virus) it's tough and complicated. it would be relatively easy for me to get through like 2-3 months. 6 months sounds a lifetime away. it's bizarre.
