Really struggling

Hi, i was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD just over a week ago. for years and years i've struggled to remain in education, i really want to stay at college and get a qualification so i can actually get a job particulary in a place i would want to work. this struggle is just becoming harder by the year, my college put in for an EHCP but it wasn't accepted first time this lead to me feeling really suicidal to the point i was in hospital twice once being sectioned because i feel so worthless and low. i started a new course this month because i really wanted to do animal care and only could go two days and i had to leave class during every lesson, ive now given up going in i just can't do it - im 19 and ive been struggling in education since i was 11. college can't meet my needs but council says they can, im sure i will be dead before the end of this year.

Parents
  • Sorry you're having such a tough time - but a week is a very short time to come to terms with your diagnosis.

    When you say the college can't meet your needs, do you know precisely what your needs are?       If you've only just been diagnosed, surely it's too early to have those needs properly assessed?

    What causes you to leave the class?      What can you or they do to assist you?    At 19, you're not a child - things don't just happen to you any more, you have a say in how things are done so are you able to talk to the student assistance person to work out how they can help you?

    Don't give up too easily - if this is something you want to do, it's in your interest to come to a working compromise that works for you.

  • yes theyve been giving me support inline with asd and adhd for over year becuase i was waiting for ages for assessment i did have a diagnosis of anxiett and things prior. i do know what my needs are im under additioal support team at college, i have sesnory overload and panic attakcs that cause me to leave i also have panic attacks trying to get to college. you're acting as if i dont know im not a child, ive been trying to recieve supoort for years so dont just presume. i migh as well just die 

  • No, I'm saying you have far more control than you realise.     Do you know what causes the panic attacks?       If you do, then what can be done to reduce that anxiety?    If you lay it all out for them and give them clues, they will bend over backwards for you - but if you just keep running away, they can't help you.

    Also - you might qualify for a taxi to pick you up and take you to and from college if that would help you - it's worth asking the assistance team.

  • Good - being pre-prepared can really reduce that piece of stress.      A college is a big place so ask if they can allocate somewhere where you can go to get proper quiet and wind-down - suggest that if you get overloaded during a class, popping out for a few minutes to decompress nearby might allow you to rejoin the class so you don't miss as much - and with all the coursework in advance, you can fill in the missing part later.     Remember, most of these people will be NTs - they cannot comprehend your world and will not spontaneously think of solutions for you - all the ideas need to come from you and they will try to help you.

    You should also ask for extra time for coursework and for during exams if it helps you get the work done.   The autistic child I mentioned earlier had the option of being in a room alone to do exams so no distractions.

  • i will, thanks. 

    i didn't think about having the work in advance but i think it will help a lot.

    no i don't, i do have a quiet place to eat and sit for a while though

  • Yeah - it's in their interest to support you so suggest it to them - say that your day is too long for you to be able to succeed - they might be able to re-jig the timetable to help you.    They might turn you down - but if you don't ask......

    If it's a large class, they might split it into 2 - that would mean you could do half of each lesson and get it in smaller bite-size chunks.

    Also, ask if the course content can be given to you in advance in writing - that way, you can read it all before the class so the amount of 'surprise' information hitting you is much reduced -  that reduces the 'input anxiety' and stress of trying to keep up in class.  (they would normally do this for visually impaired students) - again, if it would help you, they should try to do this for you.

    Do you have a mentor?    Someone you can talk to about the daily stress of college life?        Do you have a relaxation space or quiet place you can go between classes to decompress?

Reply
  • Yeah - it's in their interest to support you so suggest it to them - say that your day is too long for you to be able to succeed - they might be able to re-jig the timetable to help you.    They might turn you down - but if you don't ask......

    If it's a large class, they might split it into 2 - that would mean you could do half of each lesson and get it in smaller bite-size chunks.

    Also, ask if the course content can be given to you in advance in writing - that way, you can read it all before the class so the amount of 'surprise' information hitting you is much reduced -  that reduces the 'input anxiety' and stress of trying to keep up in class.  (they would normally do this for visually impaired students) - again, if it would help you, they should try to do this for you.

    Do you have a mentor?    Someone you can talk to about the daily stress of college life?        Do you have a relaxation space or quiet place you can go between classes to decompress?

Children
  • Good - being pre-prepared can really reduce that piece of stress.      A college is a big place so ask if they can allocate somewhere where you can go to get proper quiet and wind-down - suggest that if you get overloaded during a class, popping out for a few minutes to decompress nearby might allow you to rejoin the class so you don't miss as much - and with all the coursework in advance, you can fill in the missing part later.     Remember, most of these people will be NTs - they cannot comprehend your world and will not spontaneously think of solutions for you - all the ideas need to come from you and they will try to help you.

    You should also ask for extra time for coursework and for during exams if it helps you get the work done.   The autistic child I mentioned earlier had the option of being in a room alone to do exams so no distractions.

  • i will, thanks. 

    i didn't think about having the work in advance but i think it will help a lot.

    no i don't, i do have a quiet place to eat and sit for a while though