I live in an apartment and there is an older woman downstairs. Anyway, my bf has high-functioning autism and sometimes gets in a foul mood. This isn't very often, but when he is stressed, he tends to shout at his loved ones and blame things on them. So this morning, he was getting in a stressy mood and shouted at me for something really stupid. Although I know he doesn't mean it when he's like this, I still get kind of upset as I hate being shouted at, especially for things that aren't my fault. So I cried to myself for a hour or two on and off (I'm not normally this sensitive to it, but I am hormonal and stressed myself at the minute).
My neighbour, a short while later, came to the window and waved at me to get my attention so I opened it. She asked me if I was OK and said she had heard the whole thing, then left me her number if I ever needed it. I texted her a little while later, explaining my partner's autism and this was just one of his traits and that I was fine. She text me back saying she knows a few people who have autism and even recommended a book and course she had done.
But my problem is this - we see this neighbour all the time and I am so embarrassed now. My partner had gone out after he shouted and did some errands he needed to do, and I made the mistake of telling him about the neighbour when he got back, just because I was upset and hoped he would then be more conscious of what he says and how loud he is. But, I didn't realize he was still in a mood and this made him angry. He started saying things like 'get rid of her number' and 'she can f*** off'. He didn't say it super loudly, but I am worried she would have heard it as in hindsight I think she meant for it to be kept between us. I would've personally preferred not to have the intervention this morning, but I know she meant well with it.
My bf went outside to the garden before and he said all of their blinds were closed and it looked like she was avoiding him now (of course being autistic, he does overthink things like this). I am embarrassed to see her again now and for him to see her again (mostly frightened he will bring it up). I certainly don't want her thinking he is a horrible, verbally abusive boyfriend to me. He has his moody and shouty moments, but I know deep down he means nothing by it and that it is his autism.
How do we proceed and behave with the neighbour? (like nothing happened?) and how do I calm him when he starts shouting and getting in one of his angry outbursts? I usually just let him vent and 'ignore' his comments but now I am too embarrassed to have him shout like that if others can hear. I don't want anyone feeling sorry for me or thinking he is a horrible person.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
