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Telling family members about diagnosis

Maia

Hello, I am a 20 year old female and I have recently been diagnosed with ASD. I have been open with both my parents throughout the diagnostic process and my mum has been really supportive. My dad however has been acting very strangely post-diagnosis and has suggested that I just told my therapist what she wanted to hear and that there is no need to label things. I think that he could be autistic too as he has a lot of the same traits as me and think he could possibly be realising he may have it too. I don't think he has done any research into ASD and he doesn't seem to have much of an interest in it, but this is a really big thing for me and I feel he is really bringing it down because of his strange and quite mean behaviour towards me. This is also making me worry about telling other family members because if this is how my own dad reacts, how will others who maybe don't understand me as well react. 

Does anyone have any advice on telling family members about an autism diagnosis and how to deal with bad reactions to it? 

Parents

  • A couple of things - you are exactly the same now as you were before diagnosis - so parents and friends often dismiss a diagnosis because they are used to you and as far as they are concerned, your quirks are nothing to be concerned about - so they often go into denial.

    Also, your dad may be realising that your quirks are exactly the same as the ones he's suppressing - he might be realising that he may be on the spectrum too - it's common for ASD to run in families.

    Also, he might be having difficulties accepting that he suddenly has a 'faulty' child - so there's a lot of guilt and worry over this revelation - he might be having difficulty processing it all - he may be very upset with himself and worrying about your long-term future with regard to jobs, relationships, lifestyle etc. - it's a lot for him to deal with all in one go.    Give him time to process and spend time talking to him and find out if it's really bothering him.

Reply

  • A couple of things - you are exactly the same now as you were before diagnosis - so parents and friends often dismiss a diagnosis because they are used to you and as far as they are concerned, your quirks are nothing to be concerned about - so they often go into denial.

    Also, your dad may be realising that your quirks are exactly the same as the ones he's suppressing - he might be realising that he may be on the spectrum too - it's common for ASD to run in families.

    Also, he might be having difficulties accepting that he suddenly has a 'faulty' child - so there's a lot of guilt and worry over this revelation - he might be having difficulty processing it all - he may be very upset with himself and worrying about your long-term future with regard to jobs, relationships, lifestyle etc. - it's a lot for him to deal with all in one go.    Give him time to process and spend time talking to him and find out if it's really bothering him.

Children
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