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Telling family members about diagnosis

Maia

Hello, I am a 20 year old female and I have recently been diagnosed with ASD. I have been open with both my parents throughout the diagnostic process and my mum has been really supportive. My dad however has been acting very strangely post-diagnosis and has suggested that I just told my therapist what she wanted to hear and that there is no need to label things. I think that he could be autistic too as he has a lot of the same traits as me and think he could possibly be realising he may have it too. I don't think he has done any research into ASD and he doesn't seem to have much of an interest in it, but this is a really big thing for me and I feel he is really bringing it down because of his strange and quite mean behaviour towards me. This is also making me worry about telling other family members because if this is how my own dad reacts, how will others who maybe don't understand me as well react. 

Does anyone have any advice on telling family members about an autism diagnosis and how to deal with bad reactions to it? 

Parents

  • Hi, I'm sorry that you've been having some difficulty following your diagnosis. My thoughts are that I think it's really important to prioritise being comfortable within yourself, and to be very sure of your own 'truth'. What really helps me is journalling daily, to make sure that I am aware of my own experiences and intentions. For example, I find it very helpful to keep note of conversations where I cannot 'hear' what is being said, or moments of noticing overload, so that I don't doubt myself and my own experiences. Unfortunately we can't change what other people do, and our own words, actions and character are the only things we can affect. Even if others are saying and doing certain things, if you try to act in the best way you possibly can in response with the intention of having a good relationship, and are comfortable with your own actions, it can really carry you through difficult times. I also think having one friend or family member who you can talk to is extremely helpful, and do go easy on yourself and go at your own pace. You don't have to tell other people yet if you don't want to, and you could choose to keep it to a very small circle for now. It's a very personal decision. For me, I only really talk about it with family, close friends and my immediate work team (and on this forum!). It could even be done gradually, just by opening up a little more about what's true for you when you notice it, e.g. saying in a conversation, 'I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand, would you mind repeating it for me please?'. Wishing you all the best

  • in reply to Rach

    Thank you so much for your advice that's very useful! I think I will try out the journalling as that sounds like it could be very helpful and a good way to keep track of my autism and maybe things that trigger me. 

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