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Telling family members about diagnosis

Maia

Hello, I am a 20 year old female and I have recently been diagnosed with ASD. I have been open with both my parents throughout the diagnostic process and my mum has been really supportive. My dad however has been acting very strangely post-diagnosis and has suggested that I just told my therapist what she wanted to hear and that there is no need to label things. I think that he could be autistic too as he has a lot of the same traits as me and think he could possibly be realising he may have it too. I don't think he has done any research into ASD and he doesn't seem to have much of an interest in it, but this is a really big thing for me and I feel he is really bringing it down because of his strange and quite mean behaviour towards me. This is also making me worry about telling other family members because if this is how my own dad reacts, how will others who maybe don't understand me as well react. 

Does anyone have any advice on telling family members about an autism diagnosis and how to deal with bad reactions to it? 

Parents

  • I've fairly recently realised that I likely have Asperger's (or some similar/overlapping autism spectrum condition).

    When I've talked about it to my dad, he's winced a bit and has been a bit uncomfortable when I've talked about things.

    I've asked him: "What's wrong?", "Are you ashamed in some way?" and the conversation has a got a bit uncomfortable.

    However, as a bit of time has passed, he has started to 'connect' around the topic and just the other day, he ventured something about autism that connected with him. That's the first time he's done that.


    People sometimes take quite a bit of time to come around to things. Sometimes they need a bit of a nudge and sometimes it just needs to sink in a bit. (Depends on the person I guess) And if your dad does have traits of autism, he might need a bit more time than others to take things in. As dealing with change and new environments and ideas can be a bit more difficult to adjust to for many people with ASD (ASC).

  • in reply to calmerchameleon

    That's really good that you have started to connect with your dad it definitely gives me some hope! we have discussed the possibility of me and him being autistic for quite some time now and he has always had similar responses, I think its mainly because he doesn't really know enough about it so I will maybe try and give him some articles to read to help him understand (although I doubt he would want to) I think its definitely something that will take time. I was diagnosed with anxiety and he came to accept that eventually so hopefully it just needs some getting used to. 

  • in reply to Maia

    Good luck with all. I guess the slightly older generation may look at conditions (autism spectrum condition does sound better than disorder) as weaknesses. Whereas the younger generations are more likely to look at things like autism as presenting unique strengths.

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