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Telling family members about diagnosis

Maia

Hello, I am a 20 year old female and I have recently been diagnosed with ASD. I have been open with both my parents throughout the diagnostic process and my mum has been really supportive. My dad however has been acting very strangely post-diagnosis and has suggested that I just told my therapist what she wanted to hear and that there is no need to label things. I think that he could be autistic too as he has a lot of the same traits as me and think he could possibly be realising he may have it too. I don't think he has done any research into ASD and he doesn't seem to have much of an interest in it, but this is a really big thing for me and I feel he is really bringing it down because of his strange and quite mean behaviour towards me. This is also making me worry about telling other family members because if this is how my own dad reacts, how will others who maybe don't understand me as well react. 

Does anyone have any advice on telling family members about an autism diagnosis and how to deal with bad reactions to it? 

Parents

  • You are very brave. It is hard to tell others about our diagnosis because the label of Autism or Aspergers can have so many different meanings to different people.  I just got off the phone with my dad for two hours.  I wanted to tell him about my diagnosis but couldn't.  He has many autistic characteristics as well.  When I was a child he wouldn't let me get diagnosed because he thought that I would never be able to get a job.  I am sure that my mother and him kind of knew that I was autistic, but they never discussed it with me.  The first time you tell him he will probably shut you down.   It was that way with my wife and I.  It took several years for my wife and I to come to an agreement on what autism is and which parts are applicable to me.  I am actually hoping that others will post some good advice here.  My biggest struggle with autism is fear of the unknown.  If I can't prepare for every possible outcome in a conversation it terrifies me.  What if I get over stimulated and just shut down?  This type of conversation is impossible to prepare for.  I suppose I'm being zero help here.  I know what you're going through if that helps.

  • in reply to NAS68689

    One thing that I have done with my wife is to text her.   Some conversations are just too unpredictable for me and this provided a safe platform in which I won't get overstimulated.

  • in reply to NAS68689

    Thank you for your response! its good to hear I'm not alone and that many others are facing similar struggles. I'm stuck between wanting to share with my family as this is a big part of me and not wanting them to know in case they treat me differently. I think I'm going to give it a while to settle in properly, then decide on who to tell in my family. I am glad to have found this platform to hear stories from likeminded people :)

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  • in reply to NAS68689

    Thank you for your response! its good to hear I'm not alone and that many others are facing similar struggles. I'm stuck between wanting to share with my family as this is a big part of me and not wanting them to know in case they treat me differently. I think I'm going to give it a while to settle in properly, then decide on who to tell in my family. I am glad to have found this platform to hear stories from likeminded people :)

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