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Advice on being less emotionally hurt by little things

HonestAspy

Hi there

One thing I've noticed as I've gotten older is that I get hurt easily by words or actions that should not cause me any offence or pain.

For example my girlfriend and I have been spending most weekends together lately and next weekend she wants to spend one day together but not stay the night as she wants some time with her family and to meet up with her best friend on the other day.

Now obviously this is completely normal and nothing to stress over but when she first said it I panicked so much. We've been staying over at least once a week for the past two months and I was worried this was her pulling away or she didn't love me anymore and all these other crazy worries which I'm embarassed to admit.

I thought about it and realised we have a week holiday together at the end of the summer holidays and a long weekend the weekend after next and while I'd happily spend all my time with her I understand now that its totally normal.

Sorry for blabbing on but the point is this example demonstrates the issue I have sometimes where something normal or innocuous can become a world ending doomsday freak out or that I can just get hurt by something that should not hurt at all.

I don't want to bruise this easily or constantly misinterpret as I want to be the best partner I can be for her and dont want her to feel like she's on eggshells around me. 

Therefore I'm humbly asking for help and guidance on overcoming this, especially from anyone else already in a relationship.

Thank you so much in advance Slight smile

  • HonestAspy said:
    I don't want to bruise this easily or constantly misinterpret as I want to be the best partner I can be for her and dont want her to feel like she's on eggshells around me. 

    I suppose that comes from within, and you control that objective. DO not give up on your relationship, or put yourself in a position where you would. You have a partner which is good. Try coping methods and be open and honest in the relationship, you can be firm but polite in your responses with your partner. 

  • I get like this too! It feels incredibly hurtful but once I've had time to process it, I can give my 'rational' response as I call it. I would love to overcome this too but everything takes time. 

    Maybe a system that allows you time to process before seeing her. Maybe she'll text you, then you can proccess it before you see her? 

    Hope you find a way! 

  • in reply to Magnolia1

    Thank you for sharing that, I think explaining that to my girlfriend might be a good idea just to avoid as many communication issues.

  • I get like this sometimes. Me and my husband have learned that sometimes I need process time. If I am told new information I often walk away of stop talking and sometimes it takes me up to an hour to process and at the end of that time I have usually found a sensible way to view things.