Published on 12, July, 2020
To say I’m struggling at the moment is an understatement. I feel like I’ve got so much on my plate that to say “I feel” is to overstate my emotional condition. I’m just numb, functioning through each day.
I’m self employed, but work has dried up, I’m waiting to get signed off as an electrician, but the assessors have practically shut down. Their phones are off and they don’t respond to emails, so I have no idea when it will happen. I also have a fear that I will fail the assessment and I’ll be nowhere.
My Dad has dementia, which seems to have come out of the blue, it’s been so quick. He gets really angry and says some hurtful things, which I know he can’t help, so I don’t respond at the time, but it takes its toll later, and for days afterwards.
The main issue though is that my GP has completely screwed up my referral. I was on the local NHS waiting list, but post COVID was told this could be 3 years. I asked to be referred to Healios, which eventually (long story short) my GP did. However, it turns out Healios don’t accept GP direct referrals and the way They had gone about it made it look as though I was going to pay as a private referral. Which I simply cannot afford. I called the surgery about 5 and just got fobbed off by the receptionist who refused to let me book an appointment so I could talk to my GP. I ended up making a complaint to the local commissioning group, just to get a response. As yet this has had little effect. Other than the standard “we’re very sorry to hear about your experience” email.
The problem is I am getting no information from anyone and my fear is that nearly a year down the line I’m not on any waiting list anywhere and I’m paranoid the GP surgery is just going to cut me off and I’ll never be able to get an appointment for anything. It’s all just getting too much to cope with. My anxiety is through the roof and I can cope with less and less. I really don’t want to slip into depression but I’m holding on by my finger tips and get a sense that something minor will push me into the rabbit hole.
I'm really sorry this is all happening to you at the moment. It sounds like your going through so much stress and anxiety and it's really you feel bad.
That's really unfortunate about work drying up like that. Sadly it's happened all over, even to my family. My mum owns a vintage sweet shop and that hasn't been opened since March. Covid has so much to answer for, its turned so many lives upside down. Keeping my fingers crossed that life will start to get back to normal again soon.
I am very sorry to hear about your dads dementia. My Granny had dementia and I only saw her in the care home, at which point she didn't even recognize me which was upsetting. I think it's admirable that your coping so well with your dad right now. Dementia is a horrible disease and it takes, in my opinion our most precious things and that's who we are and our memories. Wishing your dad well!
Your GP surgery sounds like the kind who always need reminding for everything. My GP is a little like that as well. In your shoes I'd just keep on at them, keep ringing and asking until they respond. I know your worried they will cut you off but they can't not for that. Also next time you do speak with them tell them how your feeling numb and how bad your anxiety is. Feeling this way can so easily lead to depression so it's best to get help with it sooner rather than later. Keep on at them. You have a right to get the answers and help you need.
I'm sorry you still haven't heard back as well. This Covid has messed so much up, it's crazy what its actually affected. NHS waiting times are ridiculous now. My Grandad needs a new knee which is something like a 2 year wait time but he's 79 so that's a long time in constant pain and I know people with cancer aren't even getting treatment currently! So hoping things get back to normal soon and you hear back. The waiting must be horrible.
It's hard right now but know this. Your stronger than you think and you can get through this. We're here for you whenever you need us. If you need to you can message me as well.
Keep going your doing so well.