Help with my job

Hi,

My name is Morgan, I have Aspergers and I have a job in a bank (call center).

My job is very stressful, and at the moment my life is too. My fiancee lives in USA and I have not seen her since January, and honestly, I do not currently know when I will see her again, I have zero control over my life at the moment, and was off work due to depression and anxiety for the whole of June.

When I went back I had a phased return from the doctor for 1 month. My job refused to respect this and only did it for 3 weeks due to 'business needs'. I had a panic attack in work that week and had to go home. After this I wanted to change my hours of working as I need some kind of routine in my life and my depression and anxieties are worse in the evening.

My shifts at the moment and range from 7am starts until 11pm finishes and it is not good for me. My job are aware I have ASD, and my manager is AMAZING and tries to help me wherever she can. 

They refused my request to have all earlier shifts. They said I can request for flexible hours or go part time. They said my flexible shifts would be refused so I am better just going part time, so I accepted and said to go part time as the hours would be 8am-2pm, we had a meeting with operations manager where I was told this is as good as accepted. Today I was pulled off the phones to be told that they will not allow me to go part time due to 'business need and there are no vacancies for part time'. They told me Friday that it was as good as accepted and for the past 5 days I have felt at ease knowing some kind of structure and routine was coming and now I am back at square one feeling anxious and sad.

Where do I stand with this? I hardly sleep, before and after my shifts I cry because I have no control with my life. My anxieties are through the roof. I have no routine, I have no structure, everything is so difficult and sad at the moment and I don't know how to feel or what to think. 

It took me a LONG time to accept myself for who I am and this is the first job I have been open with about having ASD and what help has it been? No help whatsoever. 

I just need someone who has maybe had some experience with this or some knowledge of what I can do? My therapist was the one who suggested I change my hours and I told my job this but they don't care about that either even though I got my therapist through my benefits at work. The HR department said that it was okay to go part time, but apparently it was scheduling who said no. 

Anyone? :(

  • I'm sorry your struggling so much at the moment. Anxiety is a nightmare and left untreated it will get even worse so if I were you I'd get that under control first of all. There's lots of ways to better control anxiety such as Aidie said, books, online videos and you can also find tips and guides through Google as well. There's a few helplines you can email as well. Have you seen your general physician regarding your anxiety? If not I recommend you do as soon as possible.

    Also pat yourself on your back, you've come so far and your in work despite struggling with so much all at once. That's admirable. You should be proud of yourself.

    I hope everything works out for you Slight smile

  • My job is very stressful, and at the moment my life is too. My fiancee lives in USA and I have not seen her since January, and honestly, I do not currently know when I will see her again, I have zero control over my life at the moment, and was off work due to depression and anxiety for the whole of June.

    Do something to keep in contact with your partner. It will fade away into the night if you dont take action. 

  • has clearly stolen my flower ---- do you think she will copy me if I change mine

    crazy fool

  • You doing pretty well - this needs to be said.

    no-one  has control over their life - there is no way when I was young I would have predicted where I am right now ! anyone at any moment can be hit by a bus or get a serious illness or whatever. A friend of mine won a SUn Lotto she disappeared to a tropical island. we never she her again :)

    talk again with your AMAZING manager to see what she says  it could be that your company is in diffculties. She might nt even know.  Talk to her agian you will feel better and will calm down more.

    I once was in a room talking to a crying girl (coworker i had been working with for years ) out of killing herself over her work related stress when in walked the area manager and the rest of the team who where clearly in shock. He told us all that our jobs where over, including his,  and the room reemptied.  Just like that. Me and my friend looked at each other and laughed.  BTW She got another job as did i eventually.   .

    A. My advice,,, is do what you have to do is to hold on to this job as best you can, for now. Work on your anxiety and stress control in mean time ( buy read books or online videos ). Once COVID has gone look in recruitment agencies for part-time work in similar work.

    As for your fiancee, again what can you do  ? really there is nothing you can do but contact her as much as possible and seek assurance from her. Why dont you join her , suggest that to see the response.

    B. Build up your call center skills, no one on the phone can hurt you i have been threatened many times over the phone. let the bad talk flow over you but not harm you. Pretend they are not real in your head. think of each person as a child needing help.

    If you can, learn another language which makes you more sought after. 

    remember life is like a game, treat it as a game, or a movie, where you are one of the characters.... each day is a new movie  forget the old movie each day and see what happens in the next movie

    yea I'm a crazy fool but arent we all. Point at yourself and laugh ! try it even just once 

    wishing you all the best 

    yours

    crazy fool 

  • Dear MorganCarson,

    I am sorry to hear that you are finding your job stressful and having difficulties getting adjustments to your working pattern.

    There's quite a bit of advice on this page of our website about coping at work and what the law says about your rights at work which you might find useful.  If you'd like to speak to someone you might like to contact our Autism Helpline team - you'll find the details of how to contact them here.

    I hope that helps.

    Regards,

    Kerri-Mod