Struggling to cope with ASD mother

Thanks for your replies, you've made me think. Perhaps I was being a bit harsh in the heat of the moment last night, I guess it was only because we could have all ended up in the hospital with breathing difficulties had I not figured out what was going on quickly as I did and moved us away from the danger.

Its hard for me to understand as well, I wouldn't mix two household chemicals together without checking the instructions first to make sure it was safe. This is not the first time my mum has got herself into trouble trying to do things around the house and I've bailed her out so I'm not convinced that she could live independently anyway. 

That's why I'm not sure what to do. I love my mum and have been her carer since my dad died in 2014. She was diagnosed with mental health problems at the time and has only received an ASD diagnosis within the last 18 months. She's 64 so has lived all that time without knowing, I can't imagine how much she must have had to struggle and find coping strategies over the years.

But I just want what's best for us all. I know my mum loves her granddaughter and I don't want to take her away, but I know that she has struggled living with her in some ways especially when she cries. I said to her, well I must have cried as a baby sometimes? She just tells me that her mum and my dad took most of the caring responsibilities.

I suppose in my ideal situation then my mum would be able to be in supported accommodation nearby where we could visit her regularly and she could have her independence with someone there when she needed it but I know that there's probably a shortage of that kind of accommodation and its probably reserved for those with physical disabilities, and apart from having arthritis in both ankles my mum isn't doing too badly for her age. She is beginning to struggle with things like getting out the bath and up and down the stairs. She has aids to help with these things but she has told me that she is worried that she won't be able to do these things eventually. 

If I'm trying to justify her leaving then its only because I'm struggling to take care of baby on top of giving her the support she needs. My husband works long hours and so doesn't really help me much. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy sometimes, I don't think the lockdown has helped as the support networks that my mum has built up have gone online and she struggles with zoom from a sensory perspective. 

Anyway, sorry for the long reply, I know its selfish but I really just wanted to get it all off my chest. 

Thanks for your replies, you've made me think. Perhaps I was being a bit harsh in the heat of the moment last night, I guess it was only because we could have all ended up in the hospital with breathing difficulties had I not figured out what was going on quickly as I did and moved us away from the danger.

Its hard for me to understand as well, I wouldn't mix two household chemicals together without checking the instructions first to make sure it was safe. This is not the first time my mum has got herself into trouble trying to do things around the house and I've bailed her out so I'm not convinced that she could live independently anyway. 

That's why I'm not sure what to do. I love my mum and have been her carer since my dad died in 2014. She was diagnosed with mental health problems at the time and has only received an ASD diagnosis within the last 18 months. She's 64 so has lived all that time without knowing, I can't imagine how much she must have had to struggle and find coping strategies over the years.

But I just want what's best for us all. I know my mum loves her granddaughter and I don't want to take her away, but I know that she has struggled living with her in some ways especially when she cries. I said to her, well I must have cried as a baby sometimes? She just tells me that her mum and my dad took most of the caring responsibilities.

I suppose in my ideal situation then my mum would be able to be in supported accommodation nearby where we could visit her regularly and she could have her independence with someone there when she needed it but I know that there's probably a shortage of that kind of accommodation and its probably reserved for those with physical disabilities, and apart from having arthritis in both ankles my mum isn't doing too badly for her age. She is beginning to struggle with things like getting out the bath and up and down the stairs. She has aids to help with these things but she has told me that she is worried that she won't be able to do these things eventually. 

If I'm trying to justify her leaving then its only because I'm struggling to take care of baby on top of giving her the support she needs. My husband works long hours and so doesn't really help me much. I just feel like I'm going a bit crazy sometimes, I don't think the lockdown has helped as the support networks that my mum has built up have gone online and she struggles with zoom from a sensory perspective. 

Anyway, sorry for the long reply, I know its selfish but I really just wanted to get it all off my chest.