With both relationship and friendship I need to move slow.
I have autism, social anxiety and agoraphobia.
I feel easily pressured in relationships. Men want to move fast and start talking about "next step" in the relationship and I freak out and I have never been fully intimate with anyone yet because I didnt want to and wasnt comfortable enough.
With my ex it took over a year before I was comfortable with him. That only happened because even though we were too different (which is why it ended unfortunately) he respected how I function and never pressured me to be comfortable with him quicker. We just hung out without demands and we loved each other and are still on very good terms with each other.
Man i'm seeing now recognizes my anxiiety issues etc but he wont listen to me. He says that he is disappointed in me because I cant spend my weekends chilling at his place like the adults we are. We are not even a couple. I try to tell him that I do not feel ready yet but he says we are ready for that and that I have to make that sacrifice to get comfortable together but that isnt how I function! I cannot function under pressure and by forcing myself! This has given me intense anxiety!
Even with my male platonic friends it took me a year before I felt comfortable to spend time with them in their private residents and even if all of them didnt get that they never said I have to do it now because that's the only way to get comfortable faster. And now I dont mind hanging out with them at their place or my place and everything is fine because I feel they have respected me, my difficulties and continues to do so.
I dont know why I am this way and maybe its wrong that I cannot just give in and be normal with how to progress a relationship but I cannot. Does anyone recognize themselves in this or just me? I am not comfortable with people in general, it's just that, so I need lots of time to open up and to see more and more of that person and feel they are genuine and that we have a genuine connection before it goes further. I cannot speed it up because I myself open up slowly. If I try to force myself I get panic attacks eventually and I start to withdraw from the person who makes me stressed, naturally. I am an adult, it's true, but I am not regular NT and anxiety free adult. Many people will not understand this. I do not try to be mean and complicate my personal relationships and the few people in my social circle gets this but not everyone :( I like for relationships to progress slowly and not just like but it's the only way I can do it! I feel like many people don't take my difficulties seriously because they think I don't look autistic and I seem on surface like everyone else so they refuse to listen to what I need and it makes me suffer with even more anxiety and with frustration because it makes me feel they are right and I am faking my problems and being difficult and it make me frustrated with myself so I force myself and then I get the panic attack.
Anyone here get it?