I'm wondering if anyone can help me or has any similar experience to me, I didn't know there was a forum so I'm quite new to this.
My older brother is 30 and he has asperges, we had a difficult childhood which was a lot harder for him.
He lives independently in a 1 bedroom flat, he has a job at a factory which doesn't pay much but he loves it and lucky has just gone back to work after the pandemic.
We have had issues previously whenever he gets in a relationship as he tries to spend money he doesn't have and as he doesn't earn much he got himself into debt with pay day loans which my grandparents and myself have had to bail him out a few times now. I did ask the payday loans to put him on a register to refuse him money but obviously they don't really help.
The main issue we have with him is that he will not tidy up after himself; he rarely washes and leaves his flat in really bad states. Often leaving rubbish all over the side; not flushing the toilets, clothes all over the floor; and if he is left for more than 2 weeks the mess is really bad.
I work full time so my grandparents had been going over there once a week to tidy up for him and to buy him food (as otherwise he won't eat properly), but they are in their 80s so I am taking over now but am pregnant with my first child and still working full time so with the pandemic it's been very difficult, so I have hired a cleaner to go once a week but I visited him yesterday and I don't think the cleaner would tidy the mess he leaves.
Does anyone have any similar experience? Or any advice for me? When I speak with him about it he shuts down and paces; he has told me before he is ashamed of it but he won't try, and some occasions when I've tried to reason with him, he even put himself to bed to avoid it.
Really appreciate it,
Thank you