Okay, here's the deal. Maybe you have a spare room to rent out to a lodger, such as potentially myself. What do you get out of it?
A good chef at making risottos, soups, stews, curries, salads. I can perhaps cook a fine meal for you and whoever you live with.
A feeling of altruistic virtue. "Oh wow aren't I nice?"
So you see I am lonely and depressed, I've lived in a flat for 3 years now, and I hate my neighbours and they also hate me, with a passion both ways. It's miserable. Why? Because one of them's a weed addict who's got no culture, one of them's a white van man who argues with his wife every night and slams doors and is barbaric.
Before that I was with my family, we can't stand one another. They are cold, heartless, too often!
I will entertain you at times. I wrote a novel, I am writing to get published in magazines and newspapers now. I'm not normal, at all.
When I was growing up my neighbours and friends were a doctor's son, the son of a nuclear power station manager, the son of a B&B owner. We had adventures in the field behind the houses with horses and a den.
I am quite poor now but I grew up like a bit of an aristocrat, okay so, you know you will have some stories to tell. I dress stylishly. I once went to a cooking class in London and a multi-millionaire model chose me to be her cooking partner. I went in a bar in Manchester once wearing a new suit, I happened to be able to afford at the time, and a new haircut, and every table around me surrounded with women making glances at me.
On a good day, with the right elements there for me to have a healthy life, I can dazzle. And if it doesn't work out, I'll just move on.
