I have done two things that are wrong because my autistic brain has told me to do and it will be fine, but it was not and I am very sorry for it.
The first one that my sister needed colouring in paper because she did not have any and would need something to do to whilst being off the wi-fi (she was not allowed to be on because others were using Zoom which causes wi-fi quality to decrease). I had some blank colouring in pages from a journal I had a few years ago but never finished, so I gave them to her. But this was a journal when I was going through a bad time (not anymore) that I crossed out all the lines and ripped up the worst pages so she could not see them, and I was happy to finally get rid of it. But I did not think that my family would read them especially since it was so old and crossed out. But they did and although they said they were not having a go at me when they questioned why I would give pages to my sister to colour in (it was an accident that I should have thought about in hindsight), but I made a mistake later on and they used it to hang over me by suggesting that I am not a good person and I made them want to kill themselves. It was a complete accident and I am so sorry for it, I don't know what to do to make it right.
The second thing I did that was wrong was that today I did not realise that the postman had arrived until the door made a noise, but I did not want to disturb my parents when they were in a meeting, as this has annoyed them in the past (people walking around noisily whilst meetings were going on). I also assumed that the postman would leave the stuff at the door as that has happened to my parcels in the past, but they left a card saying pick it up tomorrow which I was not aware that they had done until it was too late. Now they are angry at me for it because they think it was done out of laziness (when it was not), and that I did not just apologise. I did apologise but I also wanted to explain because they did not like it in the past when I just apologised without explaining and now I am confused and guilty.
I don't know what to do. I am so fed up of explaining the ways my autistic brain works to non-autistic people, and I fear these will become reasons to throw me out.
