Hi everyone
The story to this point is long but I'll try to condense it.
I've been with my husband for over 20 years and knew him for 10 before that. I've been convinced for a long time that he has asd and other people (including some health professionals) over the years have asked him whether he is, aspergers being mentioned. Until now has always vehemently opposed the notion and become agitated and angry when I've tried to broach the subject until now. However, his mental health has deteriorated to such a point that I think he's finally given in to the idea.
He's self employed and works from home, except he hasn't had any work for a while now as he is unable to engage with anyone whether on the phone or using eg Skype. He doesn't go out except to sometimes pick up one of our children (teenagers) in the car - the only thing he can cope with as it's a controlled environment with no contact needed with other people.
He was forced to go out a few weeks ago because the home delivery prescription service he uses (so doesn't have to engage with eg pharmacy staff) became overloaded so he had to go to a chemist to collect the prescription. No-one else was allowed to collect it for him (I don't know why). This trip didn't go well which is nothing unusual. He doesn't cope with pleasantries so invariably things get off to a bad start. He was asked some questions, they didn't like the way he responded and the store security guard was called over. He has completely stopped making eye contact with people in these circumstances which also throws them.
He has been type 1 diabetic for many years which necessitates regular engagement with the NHS. He now cancels appointments and does everything he can to avoid engaging with the system. Obviously this is not good.
He's finally given me permission to contact one of his consultants. I'm waiting for her to get back to me - I have said it's urgent due to his mental health. He won't let me speak to his GP. So...although the consultant deals with his diabetes I was hoping to get some support from her in terms of a way forward re his mental health - I have to be his advocate as he can't engage with the world at the moment. He tried to go in a shop but his anxiety went into overdrive because not everyone was keeping 2m apart and the uncertainty of the situation was intolerable. He shut down completely and wasn't able to move or respond to concerned staff.
I'm hoping that given his diabetes and other health conditions, including a respiratory condition I can organise a shielding letter for him a) because of his co-occurring physical conditions and b) the thought of eg having to collect his prescription in person again is sending his anxiety through the roof and he needs that pressure taken off.
I'm not really sure what to ask everyone on here except do you think I'm taking the right approach and do you think a diagnosis is possible at this late stage? He did actually try to raise it with his GP about 2 years ago but the GP told him he wasn't autistic and thumped his desk hard as he said it 
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