Is it a trait of autism to find very simple or mundane tasks exhausting?

When I speak to my autistic relative, she will often describe how she, for example, went to the bank yesterday or ran some errands, and now she needs a few days to recover. She speaks very passionately about how much she resents having to do errands because it uses time when she'd rather be doing other things. She says when she finishes such tasks, even if it's just picking up a few things in town, she is completely frazzled and needs to recover, sometimes even for several days. It's something I really struggle to understand, because there are all sorts of tasks I dislike, but I hardly think about the fact I dislike them. I just know they have to be done, and they usually don't drain me so much that I need a day to recovers. Is this a trait in some autistic people, to find such tasks exhausting and overwhelming? No judgement here, I'm just genuinely curious and want to understand her feelings better. 

  • Sometimes something which seems normal can be a struggle if it isn't a usual part of our routine and is an unexpected change. Tonight I went to Sainsburys and they had closed the self-service aisles and all the workers were in a group talking. One of them said there's a till open over there so I walked over and there wasn't anyone at any of them so I kept walking then she said come over here. She asked do I need a bag and I said "no" then asked if I have nectar card and I said "no" and I felt like I was being rude by the way she looked at me. Then it was an awkward rush to get everything into the bag at the same time they wanted me to pay. I didn't expect to have to deal with an awkward social interaction like this I just wanted my usual self-service machines LOL

  • How old is autistic relative?  Age can make a difference too. I coped quite well when younger with a much busier life. Now I really struggle with anything 'extra' on top of finding the energy to take the dog out, make a meal and tidy round.  Some days it takes me all my energy to get the dog out once and play with them other days I manage a second walk, some tidying, even some hobby time (drawing or painting for an hour or so), but not if I have people to deal with! 

    I have other conditions though that also cause chronic fatigue.

  • There seems to be a lot of variation. 

    Common denominator seems to be a problem with smalltalk, basic social behaviour. Not picking up cues, taking things too literal, saying the right thing at the wrong time, or the wrong thing at the right time.

    To me it feels like when I speak I just throw words on a conveyor belt. And any synonym will do, but some words are not supposed to be used in every context... 

    And the fear of having this implies that as a person with autism it takes a lot of effort to do these social interactions as fluent as possible. 

  • Yes but everyone is different and will have different stress levels and depending on what the activity is. There's every chance that something with ASD could struggle with just one normal activity

    Something like shopping is easy for me but sometimes I have been stressed because I have to have a haircut, dentist, shopping, job centre 1 hour meeting, new car tyres put on and the post office all on the same day but when I think about this it's still less effort than when I used to work for the whole day. I think the most stressful thing for me is having to make phonecalls

  • Interesting. She is actually unemployed, but the small things that make up an average day (washing hair, buying food, etc.) are enough to make her feel exceedingly busy and stressed

  • Hello, I have that too. I have a good job, but in the weekends I really need time for myself to wind down and if I take a week off, I usually get less than half of the things done than I would like to. I tend to accept that now. When I plan something in advance, I can deal with it better, but an unexpected chore can be really taxing.