Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
First time here and a little nervous!
Last year I went through alot of therapy for various mental health illnesses inc. anxiety, depression, ptsd, eating disorder. During the sessions, me and my therapist spoke about autism being a possible diagnosis for me, and is something I have thought about alot over the years, so was keen for her to refer me.
I've just had the phone call with the organisation doing my assessment (private service through the NHS). I'm really worried about a few thigns and would love to know a bit about what to expect.
My parents don't know that I spent last year in therapy, and don't believe in mental health or understand depression anxiety etc - they call them "the troubles" and make jokes out of people that talk openly about their mental health. They are fro a generation that don't understand and don't want to understand.
When I spoke to the assessment coordinator on the phone today, she said that it would be helpful if I have my parents on the call (having to do it over Skype because of the coronavirus) and I'm really not comfortable with this. She also asked me to send her school reports so she can look at them in advance. My mum filled out the questionnaire when I was referred last year under the pretense that it was for work (I work at an charity that works in conflict and insecure environments, so it made sense to her). How can I ask her for my school reports and to attend the assessment when I don't feel able or comfortable for her to know about my mental health history (including suicide attempts, sexual assault etc) and I don't want to tell her about the assessment anyway?
I broached the subject with friends at the weekend as they're super open about different needs,and they were really shocked about the fact that I'm going through an assessment as they didn't think that an autism diagnosis ws for me, but they only really see me once every few months so I don't really think it would be helpful for them to be at the assessment either! I know that it isn't necessary to have someone at the assessment, but I worry that if I don't then it won't help me.
I'm also wondering whether it would be better to wait until restrictions have eased and do the assessment face-to-face? I'm worried about what to expect and know that I avoid hard topics of conversation and my therapist last year said she only picked up on stuff because she could see how unconmfortable I was, so I feel that if the assessor can't see me properly then won't these cues be lost?
Thanks in advance to anyone who can help!
Having just gone through a video assessment I feel it was easier to handle as I was in my own environment. And I was told my parents would be spoken to during the assessment. now not at any point did the assessor ask to speak to my mum and took all my recollections of my childhood as evidence. The impression I got is that they want to speak to relatives if the person doesn’t display autistic behaviour to a certain level. having read my report I display a lot more traits than I ever realised, visually and verbally and my diagnosis was very clear. they are trained to pick up on a lot and I was stunned at what they picked up on about me through video link. So don’t let that put you off.
Thank you, that's made me feel a little better about the video assessment! Think I will go it alone as I'm too nervous to have my family part of this.
It’s your choice so don’t feel pressured into it. I preferred being alone as felt more like I could be me. If my mum was there I would have hidden things as didn’t want her to feel like she’s missed things and let me down. The people who did my assessment were spot on and friendly.