Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi....I was reading a book recently by a person with autism and they were describing the difficulties they have with lack of theory of mind and the implications for them.
I am autistic but I think I do have theory of mind. In fact I have 102 theories of minds. 1 for each of the people who I have repeated interactions with in work, social and family life. I appreciate that the way I develop these may be different. I understand people like multidimensional patternsapatterns a sort of like a 3d map with paths that cross over, diverge lead to dead ends, some which are straight some which are wiggly etc. These are formed by observing and listening to their experiences and behaviour to give me an understanding of how they might think of feel about something. I don't generalise or make assumptions about a way a person might feel unless it is clear from the patterns I hold about them which have been repeatedly true.
I can't generalise about people nor do I think we should everyone is different. Also if I think how I would feel in a situation it would normally be very different to the way the majority of people may think or feel in a situation so it wouldn't work.
I can sometimes understand another person's thoughts and feelings accurately by my intuitive understanding but this is only if they are of a similar neurotype....
I am interested in what other people think about this.
I think to simply say people who are autistic lack theory of mind is potentially damaging to the perception of our neurotype.
I think you're probably right. Thinking differently about people, maybe not making generalisations or having expectations, doesn't mean a lack of understanding.
There's evidence autistic people are better at understanding other autistic people than neurotypical people are. Researchers such as Damian Milton and Catherine Crompton say what underlies people judging as a deficit of understanding is actually a 'double empathy' problem or a 'mismatch of salience'. Good article by Damian Milton here and from the perspective of an NT parent of autistic son here. Neither autistic nor NT are 'wrong', although one is in the majority.
Expectations about people's motives are inherent in 'theory of mind'/'intuition of mind' tests. You can find one test at the end of this document. Personally I can guess on all 'levels' of expectation, but I've read te test out to another autistic person who got the 'wrong' answers.
This has an animation about misunderstandings that may be best seen full-screen:
Thanks I will look at all of the references in your post....I have come across the double empathy theory and can relate to it..