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Coming out at work and getting support?

Cookiesmum1986

I know there's been a few debates around this but mine is slightly different.

I was diagnosed in childhood with Asperger's Syndrome by someone who came into my school to observe me and I've always assumed that it's somewhere in my medical records but I've recently discovered that it isn't and even if it was I'd probably need retested as an adult. I have no interest in being retested as I'm a very typical autistic woman and have led a very stereotypical autistic life including getting married in my 30's, job hopping every two years and never managing to have the career that matched my education levels. Assessment would be a challenge as I am not really in contact with many of my family members (No contact at all with my father due to divorce and my mum is very low contact, we don't get along).

Anyway I am currently coming up to 5 years in my current job and I'm experiencing issues with my direct line manager; things like being excluded from staff meetings, having HR involved in absence reviews much earlier than other people in the department despite said absences being related to very serious underlying health conditions that were disclosed at the recruitment stage (I have a congenital heart defect), things like that. Her manager knows I'm autistic but my manager doesn't because I feel that it would be like painting a target on my back. I mentioned to the more senior manager that at a previous job I was "out" and had support from somewhere that the company I previously worked for organised when I disclosed my disability.

The support I had included help before the interview, a support worker who checked in on me during my first year of the job and I'm sure I could have called her on an ongoing basis but I'm not sure of that, and a company came out and walked around the workplace with me before I started to identify issues and put in strategies and then a couple weeks after I'd started and kind of settled they held a training session where they talked to everybody about what autism was and how it was an invisible thing and under diagnosed and the positives that it could have.

The senior manager wants me to be out at work and thinks it would help my relationship with my manager but I can't say I'm convinced and I wouldn't want to just come out without the support I had before considering I am already having issues but I have no idea how I got that support or how I'd go about getting it again. My previous employer no longer exists (they went under) and I'm not in touch with the manager so I can't even ask my old boss how they got all that support in place.

Does anyone know how you go about getting support when you're 5 years into a job but you've hit a wall? I work for a big public sector employer but there's so many teams and departments I feel like I need to know that everything needs to be in place before I can even consider coming out at work.

Parents

  • An employer is obliged to make adjustments for disability, but it is often difficult to know the adjustments needed.  And a common response by an employer would be to insist that the particular employee is not disabled under the equality act.

    As stated by others, Access to Work can be a great help.  They can arrange for training for staff, a support worker, and suggest adjustments to the workplace (screening, position of workstation, quieter area, frequent breaks, etc).  It is as well to remember that adjustments are open ended, once given they can be added to as they are found to be necessary.

    A support worker can help by visiting you in the workplace and seeing how you are getting on, acting as an intermediary between you and your employer/ manager. Mine has been very useful.

    I would also google "Proving disability and reasonable adjustments" which should take you to an Equality and Human Rights Commission publication that you can download.  It is full of useful information including a section on Autism as well as more general advice.  I would post a link but my tablet won't let me paste. ( There is also a version of the same publication is also published by Unison and downloadable, no membership needed.). It is free.

    I know how difficult it can be to come out, but this is up to you with your manager.  It may be as well to understand that it should be confidential between you and what managers you choose to tell but it can lead to misunderstandings when a manager is not aware, and there would be some things that your manager should be aware of.  In an ideal world it should not be something you ought to be afraid of but there can be repercussions which require a strong constitution to fight all the way whatever the rights and wrongs or whether you would eventually win.

Reply

  • An employer is obliged to make adjustments for disability, but it is often difficult to know the adjustments needed.  And a common response by an employer would be to insist that the particular employee is not disabled under the equality act.

    As stated by others, Access to Work can be a great help.  They can arrange for training for staff, a support worker, and suggest adjustments to the workplace (screening, position of workstation, quieter area, frequent breaks, etc).  It is as well to remember that adjustments are open ended, once given they can be added to as they are found to be necessary.

    A support worker can help by visiting you in the workplace and seeing how you are getting on, acting as an intermediary between you and your employer/ manager. Mine has been very useful.

    I would also google "Proving disability and reasonable adjustments" which should take you to an Equality and Human Rights Commission publication that you can download.  It is full of useful information including a section on Autism as well as more general advice.  I would post a link but my tablet won't let me paste. ( There is also a version of the same publication is also published by Unison and downloadable, no membership needed.). It is free.

    I know how difficult it can be to come out, but this is up to you with your manager.  It may be as well to understand that it should be confidential between you and what managers you choose to tell but it can lead to misunderstandings when a manager is not aware, and there would be some things that your manager should be aware of.  In an ideal world it should not be something you ought to be afraid of but there can be repercussions which require a strong constitution to fight all the way whatever the rights and wrongs or whether you would eventually win.

Children
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