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Could I have Autism as an adult or am I being paranoid?

bormikstel5

I know this might be an odd question to ask, and I know I really should see a dr to be certain (but at this point I feel I'm being stupid and paranoid and I shouldn't waste the Doctors time), but I've been wondering lately as to whether or not I might be on the spectrum?

I'll try not to ramble on, but I'm a 28 year old male, with a full time job and independant lifestyle, and the possibility of me being on the spectrum had never crossed my mind until a few years ago, when I was in the car with my mother, talking about me being a bright child, and she said "Yeah, the school wanted me to get you tested for Autism but I told them outright don't be daft, there's no way he's Autistic"

That was when so many pieces fell into place in my head, Why I had so much trouble making friends throughout school, why I would become so focussed on certain tasks, like reading, gaming or working, to the point where I'm oblivious to what's going on around me, why throughout my life I would prefer to isolate myself away, than being social, or just totally freeze up and draw a blank at any type of confrontation or argument, regardless how prepared I am, or struggle at starting or carrying conversations with people I hardly know, and why sometimes even responding to a facebook message seems like an increasingly daunting task.

Am I being paranoid? Are these normal everyday things people do and deal with? I mentioned this to A close friend of mine who works with special needs kids (with all manners of cases from aspergers to violent upbringings) and whose partner is mildly on the spectrum, and she said flat out that knowing me as well as she does, that I definitely do not have Autism, I trust what she says, but the more I read into it, the more I worry as I make more connections in my head that corroborate with the symptoms.

Am I being stupid or is this something I should look into further? Thanks in advance for all your respective times and inputs

  • I think this is a Copybot thread, so replying to it may be a waste of time, at least in that 'bormikstel5' is not a real person.The text of this question seems to have been copied from a 3-year-old thread on Reddit r/autism.

    People have contributed valuable time to answering and maybe that should continue, but I hope you can verify the copying and lock the user 'bormikstel5' so they cannot return later and post spam.

    When I was last active on the forum we had old posts from the NAS forum itself being reposted by a spammer with a devious plan - now the bot is obtaining the apparently valid text from an autism forum elsewhere.

  • Greetings

    In the first instance, I would take these two online tests and report back your scores :)

    ASQ - psychology-tools.com/.../autism-spectrum-quotient

    EQ - psychology-tools.com/.../empathy-quotient

  • First of all, you are not stupid. Asking questions and having a desire to get to know yourself better is something others should thrive for as well. 

    Autism is a complex condition and it has various symptoms and to varying degrees. How much does it affect you and in what areas other than your social life? I wanted an official diagnosis because I have several autistic traits affecting me in many ways but not every autistic person has such problems. Are your symptoms manageable in all major areas of your life? Misdiagnosis can go both ways, it's really not easy to diagnose it because some conditions or even just personality types can have similar symptoms.  

    I was diagnosed in my 30's and the only reason why I wasn't diagnosed in my 20's was because my mother did not believe that I had autism. I told her that something was "off", and the search results I got with my symptoms mentioned autism as the possible cause. She thought autism was something that would have manifested as a learning disability at school but it wasn't so in my case. My IQ is above average and school was very easy for me (other than the constant bullying part of it). Before my diagnosis, I also asked a trusted friend because I felt like she was wise and observant. When I asked "do you think I might have autism?", she gave me a look and her answer was "no way". How did I know it was more than just having an "unusually shy and timid" personality with all kinds of quirks that other girls didn't have and people didn't like about me at all? I started experiencing a symptom that couldn't be explained by personality. Auditory processing problems immediately began to show when I started working at a noisy place (not everybody with autism has this).   

    You need to consider whether an official diagnosis would benefit you or not. Nobody can diagnose you, not even that friend's partner. I had been misdiagnosed with "you just have anxiety" before my diagnosis and l had to figure it out for myself then got it confirmed officially. Some autistic people have subconsciously learned to mask certain traits because we learn the hard way that that's the way to be liked by the mainstream.  

    Based on your post, I cannot tell how much your traits bother you. Another question is how much it costs to get an autism assessment where you live. Does insurance fully cover it? 

    Nobody on here can tell you whether you are autistic or not. Even professionals had never thought I was autistic before I requested an autism test. I've heard that happens to some people, especially women.  

    I wish you all the best and if you happen to have autism, please don't consider it a horrible thing because if you could live with it for 28 years without knowing it, you can certainly live with it when you are aware of it. :) You can see a lot of posts by autistic people on here. We are human beings like others. We have some difficulties but so do diabetics and people with high blood pressure. A chronic condition does not make anyone inferior. 

  • The problems with social interaction sounds very familiar to me. I also find myself often in a situation where I really have no idea what smalltalk I could be having. Awkward and quirky... 

    You might be very lucky to have realised now (if you have it, keep the options open). It might make a lot of difference if you can make some changes in lifestyle that prevent you from getting too fast overstimulated and getting a burnout.

    I had a serious depression during my studies (21 years old), but at that point my mother just let me 'sleep it off'... and that helped. I got over it, lucky she didn't put extreme pressure on me to get on with my life, that would have made things even worse. If you never had that, you probably have it better than I, or something is different. I do have two children, am happily married, have my own house, a well paid job, ... on the downside, I do take it easy in the weekends, I have some tasks but often I just plan an entire sunday just sitting and slurping coffees and browsing stuff.  

    I guess this advise from a 47 year old to a 28 year old would be universally true: don't make life into a constant race against others. It works but you get there by muscle power, and it's something nobody is built for. Rather make sure you have a smooth job-experience, people trust you, that's more important in the long run than performance and carrier. 

  • Have you done the ASQ and EQ tests so you have an initial indication?

  • You are not paranoid.

    Everyone is different, autistic or not, so no particular issue is specifically autistic.  However, I do relate to a lot of that you describe with regards to my autism.  That you experiencing so many of those different characteristics I would think it not unreasonable to suspect you are on the spectrum.

    Your close friend is not qualified to diagnose you as an adult just because she works with children and has a partner on the spectrum.  Everyone's autism is different so you cannot simply compare one person against another, and children and different to adults.  Maybe you should ask why she does not think you are autistic, and explain why you think you are.  That way maybe one of you will come to see it differently.

    You are not being stupid, but whether you should look into it depends on why you want to know or what you would want to get out of a diagnosis.  Some people just know they are autistic and are happy knowing that, whilst other people need to know for certain and want an official diagnosis.  I sought a diagnosis as an adult in order to access support.

    If you do want to know for certain then you need to speak to you G.P. to ask for a referral.  So it would be very helpful to understand your reasons so you can explain why this is important.  And then do not give asking for it.

    When I spoke to my G.P. I was referred to someone at the local community mental health centre.  They never really discussed autism, though, so after a few weeks I wrote a letter which I handed to the person explaining I had been referred there for a diagnosis and that was not happening.  They said I was not autistic but would refer me to the specialist service, where I was diagnosed.  

    So even people who should know better can be wrong (including your friend).  But you have to keep asking and not get side tracked, and you will also need to be prepared to wait.  Referrals are not quick