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Rollacoaster

Carl
over 4 years ago

Hello

I am a 55 year old guy who can easily relate to many other life stories on this forum , wondering why I was different etc . In short I crashed at Christmas time and stayed in my bubble until last Friday when I clicked on an Australian guy on You Tube who ran through the ASD common symptoms  . Since then my world has collapsed and been rebuilt several times , quite frankly I haven’t a clue how I feel I am I think relieved in some ways a scrambled all at the same time . I have no one to speak to really that can help 

My current plan is to carry on bashing away at it (life that is) the same wayI have done since before I can remember but with the added knowledge that I have learned over the past week or so ie trying to take notice of what aggravates me then avoid it 

I think I’m going to need a bigger pad ha ha

Im not looking for sympathy and any help would be very much appreciated 

With peace

Carl

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    Hi 

    Thank you

    I really do need to validate this which seems to be the way to go . I struggling to understand why I hadn’t noticed this before when I was younger as it seems as obvious now , I keep getting memory flashes of situations which make me wince (I’ve had this many times before) I haven’t a clue but I’m starting to think that these are times where I got things wrong so I am trying to go back and fix them . I know I don’t like this but I haven’t a clue why 

    I am also extremely concerned that I could be a fraud 

    Again thank you very much for your help

    carl

  • over 4 years ago in reply to Carl

    I was diagnosed with Aspergers at 58yrs or so. Felt a lot like yourself. I had a melt down or I think it was a mental breakdown 2 Christmas ago after I was diagnosed. It took me a long time up until now to except I’m autistic. I’m happy with that now. 

     More importantly take the positives from the past, learn from the negatives....don’t bash yourself up & live for today. It’s the now which is important....

    i too didn’t know who or what I was after my diagnoses. But then I didn’t before to be honest....I fooled myself & pretended to be other than myself. 

    I have a few dear friends who i feel happy & comfortable with....often the right friends are often a mirror to ones self. Or there may be people you admire....they may have characteristics of yourself. This is a starting point too...to discover more about the positives in yourself. 

    Don’t go back to the past....learn. Or like me just let it go & concentrate on the future. 

    You are not a fraud....you are just processing a lot of stuff. Secondly you were probably over whelmed with life & in the past didn’t have coping mechanisms in place to protect you. 

    To know you have Aspergers is the easy bit but to except & digest you have Aspergers takes time....give yourself a break....just let things settle & yes you will or might feel uncomfortable but this is the learning phase which is good not bad. It means you are excepting. Just chill & read etc about Aspergers a little at a time. Don’t take on board too much as you’ll be over whelmed. 

    Do stuff you enjoy or take pleasure from....surround yourself with things you like...make a ‘nest’ of all that comforts you. 

    Might I add people of our age did not have the understanding & help like there is now. In fact about 8yrs ago I was diagnosed with personality disorder! What a joke! When actually I had Aspergers. 

    So don’t be too hard on yourself.

     Take care. 

Reply
  • over 4 years ago in reply to Carl

    I was diagnosed with Aspergers at 58yrs or so. Felt a lot like yourself. I had a melt down or I think it was a mental breakdown 2 Christmas ago after I was diagnosed. It took me a long time up until now to except I’m autistic. I’m happy with that now. 

     More importantly take the positives from the past, learn from the negatives....don’t bash yourself up & live for today. It’s the now which is important....

    i too didn’t know who or what I was after my diagnoses. But then I didn’t before to be honest....I fooled myself & pretended to be other than myself. 

    I have a few dear friends who i feel happy & comfortable with....often the right friends are often a mirror to ones self. Or there may be people you admire....they may have characteristics of yourself. This is a starting point too...to discover more about the positives in yourself. 

    Don’t go back to the past....learn. Or like me just let it go & concentrate on the future. 

    You are not a fraud....you are just processing a lot of stuff. Secondly you were probably over whelmed with life & in the past didn’t have coping mechanisms in place to protect you. 

    To know you have Aspergers is the easy bit but to except & digest you have Aspergers takes time....give yourself a break....just let things settle & yes you will or might feel uncomfortable but this is the learning phase which is good not bad. It means you are excepting. Just chill & read etc about Aspergers a little at a time. Don’t take on board too much as you’ll be over whelmed. 

    Do stuff you enjoy or take pleasure from....surround yourself with things you like...make a ‘nest’ of all that comforts you. 

    Might I add people of our age did not have the understanding & help like there is now. In fact about 8yrs ago I was diagnosed with personality disorder! What a joke! When actually I had Aspergers. 

    So don’t be too hard on yourself.

     Take care. 

Children