Hi everyone,
I'm new here - not formally diagnosed but starting to wonder if I should investigate a diagnosis. I struggle a lot with social interaction and find it draining to the point of crisis if I don't take time to recharge.
For the past 5 weeks of lockdown I've been finding things very hard. I live with my partner who has children from a previous marriage that live with their mum usually but spend weekends with us. During lockdown, his 15 yo son who I have a good relationship with has come to stay with us.
For the first week or so it was nice to have him around. But since then I find having another person in the home and the thought that I have to make chitchat at mealtimes totally and utterly draining. I have spoken to my partner who is trying to understand. I asked if he could maybe go for a walk with his son to give me an hour alone in the house to recharge (being a 15 year old that is into computer games he hasn't left the house in the past 5 weeks at all). My partner agreed but has his own anxieties around leaving the house and coronavirus so I know he is reluctant to do so.
Today was the day they were supposed to go out, but it seemed like they would never go and my partner was delaying and I could feel my emotions spiralling out of control. I did something I've never done before - hit myself on the head with my hand repeatedly - I'm not sure why, I just needed to do something to get the frustration out as I felt like I would explode or just start screaming and crying or something. Just craving solitude like I never have done before.
Eventually they did go out and I feel a lot better now.
Anyway, I just wanted to see if anybody had any advice. I'm normally able to keep everything together so this loss of control is really something I'd like to avoid. And obviously it is so sensitive with my partner's son, and lockdown, that I feel I'm being unreasonable asking them to give me space, yet can't seem to cope with the alternative.
