Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello.
I have not been diagnosed, but I have been reading the threads on here and the following apply to me:
obsessive exercise regime and feeling guilt for eating certain ‘bad’ foods that have a high calorie content.
routines that are detrimental and have resulted in lack of experimentation and exposure to more of what life might have to offer.
eating the same foods all the time.
a breakdown in communication with most of my family.
a lack of general care for the welfare of other humans.
an inability to express feelings or emotions about my fiancé.
obsessing over topics such as animal care, car construction and, for example, reading these threads.
reading over what I have written in an email over and over again.
repeatedly feeling like I say the wrong things in conversation and others feel awkward. looking away from others when I have to talk during a conversation.
obsessively picking at my fingertips and making them bleed. This is to ensure that there are no loose bits of skin.
being very sensitive or angry when I hear someone whistling, cutlery scraping on plates and people clearing their throats.
repeatedly being called “blunt” by colleagues.
in childhood:
taking toy cars and pretending to park them in designated spaces on a mat repeatedly.
I don’t remember much else about my childhood because I may have blocked it out due to sexual abuse by my father.
I am a 38 year old female teacher. How can I have got this far into life and only just realised that I might be autistic?
I've done the first test many times, most recently I scored 44. Never seen the second test and just scored 10! I better press ahead on getting my diagnosis!
Greetings, you certainly appear to have "Aspie" traits :) Have you tried taking the ASQ and EQ tests ??
ASQ - https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient
EQ - https://psychology-tools.com/test/empathy-quotient
Are you a similar age to me then? I got about one hour of sleep last night! Think I am going to have to distance myself from my mum, who has also prioritised becoming a grandmother over telling me that I might be an aunt for the first time. No point telling her how I feel, she just uses the default: the abuse has caused me so much suffering too and the classic: your standards for other people are too high. Is that my problem that I see things as black and white and people should find it easy to be honest?
It's the birthday of someone in my partner's family. They don't like me and my autistic ways. They expect me to follow their routines and birthday traditions, but that makes me cringe. When it was my birthday, I didn't get so much as a text message.
I'm sorry about your brother, that must really hurt. When I saw your post, I immediately liked it and felt a kinship. I can't understand why anyone would hurt their sister and aunt like that or turn a blind eye to abuse.
Thank you for responding. I think I am struggling right now with not only my own stupid self diagnosis but my family issues as mentioned above. I feel pretty low that my own family keep lying to me and all of it began when my dad decided to abuse me in childhood. Maybe I have just given up on people and I thought I would vent my spleen online because it helps with the pain.
A close friend or relative’s birthday? Sounds like you are trying though, so that’s good. Tonight I have just heard that my brother is expecting a baby in November. This would normally be great news, but he cut me out of his life 3 years ago and none of my other relatives have told me. I guess he instructed them not to.
I'm so relieved that you replied, and we are still getting on. See, I have been stretching myself in order to join n here or there, I find it very taxing sometimes.
I get awfully anxious in case I am clumsy or offensive, and I suffer from thought loops and insomnia after commenting sometimes and worse in real life conversations and emails.
This is indeed a good place to learn and I will try to calm down from palpatations and worry, goodnight and thanks
...I was sort of waiting & worried about any misunderstanding, so I am Thanking You very much for understanding! No offence of course, You are awesome on here, yessir. If I knew a more appropriate term for "eating disorders" or "disordered eating" then I would post it too. But I do not, and if I told any "Experts" whatever I ate then they would likely say the same thing about Myself too, so I get what You say.
...Wow, this is My first direct reply at You... awsome... wow... um... mind is going blank now... waffling... must sign off... 'upvote only' mode engaged...Thanks Very Much...
Hi, yes, I do need to clarify, and thanks for pointing it out, that I was not trying to diagnose NAS67493 as having an eating disorder.
But I was diagnosed with one, it was the 1980's and no one was looking for my autistic traits back then. it is associated with a significant number of people who later find out they are autistic. Maybe I don't even have one, and all I am is autistic. There are several scholarly articles and studies on this. Of course it is something I've read about, being an obsession of mine. My post on such topic also mentions possible misdiagnosis.
There is even a link on this very site. network.autism.org.uk/.../anorexia-nervosa-autistic-females
Disordered eating is maybe more accurate than eating disorder. Frantically exercising to burn up calories is something I still do.
I'm sorry if I caused any offence. I was a bit over excited today.
Hi, yes, it pains me to say it but it's true. I have retreated into myself and I have become more cranky, distant and a bit of a loner.
On the other hand I have decided to ENJOY time alone instead of feeling weird and guilty.
I don't get much from company and generally it makes me anxious. I have to go to a birthday do next week and I'm dreading it.
Glad Tidings to Plectrum... I hope You remember Me, so should know that I like & respect You and so herein mean no disrespect at all. But be careful with the term "eating disorders" since it is likely to conjure up images of things like Anorexia and Obesity, which I say have nothing to do with Autism, since plenty of Allistics (non-Autistics) have also.
...BUT- The sticking to certain foods and certain tastes/textures/smells --- Yes that is part of Autism! But I now doubt My own post but still think it is correct... because this leads onto many other topics/disorders/conditions which are not necessarily linked to Autism... I hope You get what I mean... Thanks a lot... (*Me trying to be very apologetic here.*)
Greetings to '38 Year Old female teacher who got this far into life and not realised that they might be Autistic'... Worry not, very very many of us upon this Forum are in fact older than that... with Us it is called a "late diagnosis" (of Autism).
I post two links, the first is from the great maze of NAS-Online, which has other links and 'stuff'. The second link is an 'official NHS link':
https://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asd.aspx
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/autism/signs/adults/
...If there is a Thread upon this forum about "positive traits of Autism" then I have not seen it so far and have been waiting quite a while for it Myself. And I mean the *official + positive* traits, all in one Thread. (Usually (new/temporary) people only post to share troubles and queries, which is of course good and fine, but, well...)
That is all for now from Me (other replies are coming up as I type this, so I forget what to say & get flustered). Good Luck.
Do you find that you care less and less about human relationships as you get older?
I love your list! These are great observations that resonate so much. I feel like your twin.
I do all these things and I've just spent the last two days trying to recover from emails that made me extremely agitated. Then tomorrow it starts all over again...
I've posted on here about eating disorders before but it seems its a relatively new connection with autism. Mine got worse during lockdown.
Thanks. I guess so. I do care about animals and a few people. Oddly I always thought I went into teaching to help others, but I think I realise now that it’s about fuelling my need for structure and discipline. the students don’t ever mess around because I pick up on the smallest things.
You missed out a few traits:
Also, I hate saying good morning or afternoon to people because most people don’t really care what the response is.
I get really wound up about too many emails in my inbox and I prioritise work over my personal life too.