Really upset about assessment decision.

So several months after see my GP and filling out all the paper work I finally get a response. I'm told that I have been accepted for a referral, but this will be "at least 20 months". I think I would have gone insane before then. Then Covid hits, so 20 months for a face to face is more like 3 years. Then I hear about Healios on here. So I ask my GP to be referred there instead. Again, fill out the forms! Then yesterday my GP told me that Berkshire NHS don't refer adults to the service!

I'm now 45, this whole thing is hard enough as it is, and like a lot of people on here, I have been pushed around the system for 20 years. Told I have anxiety, let's treat that, you have depression, let's treat treat. You finally end up with something that feels real and I can relate to and I have to wait 3 years to even find out if it's true this time.

I'm so upset, I really don't know what to do. Not only does the decision feel like age discrimination, but it makes me feel so unimportant in the world it's hard not to think "what's the point" 

Parents
  • Hi

    The waiting is torture for people who have reached a crunch point in their life where it is so bad that they cannot function normally - which is what lead them to seek the initial referral.

    There is another route - private diagnosis - it's expensive (up to £2k) but very quick.     If you are working and have company healthcare, it may be covered - chat to the insurer.

    In my opinion, the diagnosis is a double-edged sword - good to know - but it may drive you mad knowing what *could* have been if you were diagnosed earlier.   It's also a point where you have to make decisions about how you move forward - try to carry on as before or make changes in your life to embrace your inner autie.

    What can you do right now to be kinder to yourself?

  • Hi, I’ve looked into private, and as you suggested they quoted up to £2000, but also said the waiting list was 12 months. Which seemed an age at the time. I am very anxiety driven, so once I’ve decided to do something, need it done yesterday! 

    I hear what you say about “double edge sword”, but I want to know so I can move on with my life. I’m more scared they’ll say, what are you talking about? And I’ll be back to square 1.

  • When you're paying, you are the customer - 12 months is a joke.      Do some research into the best people in your area - maybe a clinical psychologist - and speak to their team/secretary directly to see if they can do this for you (or they might suggest someone) - it's then just a case of getting your gp to write the referral and you're in - mine was about two weeks from seeing the gp to sitting in front of the top bloke in the country.   It was paid by my company insurance.

    My assessment was done like a long conversation where (I guess) he was going through all the tests verbally with me and just generally chatting.     I guess he can spot us a mile away.       The report turned up a week or so later.

    Since my diagnosis (aged 42), I can spot aspies too - dead easy - and I suspect all my close friends are undiagnosed aspies too - which makes sense - I find NTs to be very hard work to interact with..

  • I'm in North London - I was diagnosed at a place in Harrow - can't remember the name of the bloke but it was 10 years ago.    My company used Cygna health insurance.

    Have a dig about on Google to see who the best person is right now in your area - and make sure they can provide what you want.      I'm sure when you talk to a couple of psychologists they will point you at a colleague who will provide what you need.      Check with the insurer to make sure the person you find is on their approved list of consultants and if all is good, you should be able to arrange it..

    Good luck.  

  • Where about in the country are you. Maybe I could use the same route. I’m hoping my partners company insurance will cover it as I’m self-employed.

Reply Children
  • I'm in North London - I was diagnosed at a place in Harrow - can't remember the name of the bloke but it was 10 years ago.    My company used Cygna health insurance.

    Have a dig about on Google to see who the best person is right now in your area - and make sure they can provide what you want.      I'm sure when you talk to a couple of psychologists they will point you at a colleague who will provide what you need.      Check with the insurer to make sure the person you find is on their approved list of consultants and if all is good, you should be able to arrange it..

    Good luck.