How to overcome monotone?

All of my adult life I have spoken with a monotone, no emotion and unconciously not moving my mouth. My speech is usually short sentences at a time and they don't flow very well, unless I am very familiar (like a best friend) with the person and have a lot to talk about 

Speaking on the phone is one of my greatest weaknesses and recording my voice and listening back sounds even worse than it does in my head at the time. I can instantly tell that people feel sorry for me or think I have a disability when speaking on the phone and I have had comments to this effect before

I seem to have a weak voice which doesn't help but I think it's also a mental issue, I'm not sure if it's because autism makes me hyper self-concious of others opinions and my body does not allow me to show emotions by changing tone etc because of anxiety? Also I do not want to speak so loud that others hear the conversation which is what I often experience in public places. When I am drunk I feel more relaxed and it is not as bad

I have practised speaking normally on my own however for some reason I can rarely do this with other people, even those I know well like my parents. It's like my vocal cords seize up and cause me to mumble things

My diagnosis says: "speech was somewhat stilted and lacked spontaneity but was of a normal volume and rate."

Does anyone else have any advice on how to overcome this

  • Hi, maybe this is silly but i found I talk better when i sing a lot.   Normally i just sing along to my favourite song on the radio. There are singing warm up exercises you can do to open your lungs and airways.   You could do this in private using youtube, perhaps.  Or even join a choir or singing group.  It might just get your body used to overcoming the tension, without having to re-train your mind (which is harder).

  • Well I think practice is key so what you’ve started doing is great, so we’ll done for that. In terms of how to apply this practice this is where the anxiety and self confidence come in and I appreciate that’s tough. One way may be to practice with a friend or family member who knows you - it’s a step up from doing it on your own. A system that worked for someone I know (they had a different issue but the concept is similar) - they created a reward and sanction system for themselves - so if they fulfilled their goals they treated themselves to luxuries - this could be food, a trip out, anything nice really and when they backed down from goals they instead set sanctions for themselves, they said that this helped because it added an extra layer of motivation. It probably won’t work with everyone, but they swear by this approach.